Posted by wishingstar on January 22, 2007, at 10:44:10
Well, I got a call (voicemail) this morning from a local mental health agency. In a brief moment of actually feeling good, I applied to do crisis work for them with kids and families. Thats the type of work I eventually want to do for a career.
I have to call him back today or tomorrow, I assume to set up an interview. But now I'm back to "normal" (hah) and have absolutely no motivation to get off my butt, let alone be the stable force for some family thats in crisis.
What the heck was I thinking?
I dont know what to do. I HAVE to get a job. The finances just wont allow me to put it off much longer. I've considered getting a less stressful job - Panera Bread is hiring, and I love that place - but it feels like a giant step down for me and I'm having a hard time accepting it. I've always been the straight-A, overachieving, whatever student, several publications, everything, all through college, got asked to stay for the grad program (I didnt even apply! they asked me!) and did... hated it, and dropped out. I never thought I'd drop out of grad school but I do think it was for the best. But taking a job that doesnt feel like a career, that I could have gotten without all this work... I guess I just have to suck up my pride and do it. It just makes me feel even more worthless and hate myself even more though.
I just want to add that I dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with working anywhere at all, so if you're reading this and thinking "but I work at xxx...".. No, I dont mean you. Really. This is a judgment I've reserved specifically for myself.
I could always take the interview and see what happens. I'm fairly sure I'd get offered the position (I have all the qualifications and theyre always needing people). But I just dont know. When I was in grad school, the stress and work hanging over my head used to make my depression worse, and I dont know if that'd happen with this job.
Any suggestions???
poster:wishingstar
thread:725139
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20061208/msgs/725139.html