Posted by liliths on December 21, 2006, at 10:54:04
In reply to Re: Just can't win » Poet, posted by Dinah on October 7, 2006, at 11:00:39
hi Dinah
sorry if I'm jumping into something that's been ongoing but I REALLY related to what you wrote at the end of your post
I have a tendency to become frozen as well. I used to come down really hard on myself about it - well, I still do BUT I have learned it is a symptom and not something I'm doing to myself. It's such an awful feeling to know that if I could just do something, I'd feel better, yet not be willing (as that's what it feels like) to take any action. I get really angry with myself and that certainly doesn't help the depression that bears down on me when I freeze
if I may ask, what kind of work do you do? And did you recently lose your father? I guess I must be coming into this since I have so many questions. One of the things I've always liked about working out of the house (I have my own studio/office as well though I no longer have any employment) was that if I did become distracted, I could always go work again whenever I wanted to. Of course, I think you have to really love (or at least derive some satisfaction from) the work you do when you work out of the house.
are you happy with what you do? Will you be able to continue working from home once the new office is available?
and are you at least getting enough done to satisfy your job requirements? Could you split your time if you needed to?
I apologize if I haven't been very helpful. I guess I hope some of my questions lead you to some answers you can use :)
namaste,
lilith> My husband and I each have a study. It's great. I have file cabinets, a computer, printer, scanner, really efficient and well organized desk. I bought some extra supplies when I thought we were moving so that I could work long distance. Of course, there's also a TV, a very small Barbie city, and an enormously comfortable daybed. :) But I haven't cuddled into the daybed lately.
>
> And one way that it's good for me to work at home is that I can eat when I feel hungry, because once I hit sugar low, I'm useless for the rest of the day, even if I up my sugar level. My body's just gone into shutdown mode.
>
> But on the way to eat, or to go to the bathroom, it's hard not to notice that the towering pile of clothes is about to fall onto the piddle pad that really needs changing, and that the dog is looking a bit depressed and oops, they really need some more water in their Drinkwell pet fountain, but it really needs to be cleaned before I add more water or the motor will burn out again, and oooh there's the mail on the floor and oops that reminds me that I still haven't called the roofer.
>
> Still, I manage to get as much work done as I get done at the office. Because if I put in five hours at the office, I'm shot for the day, and part of the next day, with back muscle spasms, migraines, and intense sleepiness from the stress.
>
> They're asking if once we move back into our regular office from our cramped filthy (don't even mention the restrooms, just hold it all day) temporary office where my desk, and everyone else's, is cramped into what doubles as the reception area, I'll be coming into work more often. It'll probably be better, but I've lost my private office and will be sharing, and I find that distracting and stressful. Also, I have more file cabinet space at home than I will at the refurbished old office. :( I love my file cabinet space. I wouldn't mind a closet with a desk and file cabinets if I could be alone, but there are none to be had. :(
>
> I miss my old office. I miss the office I shared with Daddy, so he wouldn't have to yell down the hall to me. I miss Daddy at the office. I don't like the level of support I get from my current bosses, or all but one of them I suppose. One of them is sort of like Daddy in how our working relationship goes.
>
> I couldn't get rid of the ongoing project I tried to give up, because it's impossible to hire anyone right now and we lost most of our employees anyway. :(
>
> I'm discouraged, overwhelmed, and I think my tendency to freeze in the headlights has kicked in. My therapist says "Yes, you do tend to do that." Sigh.
poster:liliths
thread:692355
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20061208/msgs/715426.html