Posted by stargazer on October 11, 2006, at 8:55:50
I am in the process of having to look for another job. I quit my last job, 2 mos ago, because I was overwhelmed, didn't feel I could keep up with things, felt anxious, angry all the time. I'm almost 50 and I have never liked any of my jobs so I have moved around quite a bit. I also have struggled with depression since I was in my teens with minimal success at managing it so it always affects my ability to stay with a job very long. Most of my longer term jobs I forced myself to stay with and when I couldn't take it any more I would quit without anything else lined up.
I'm now feeling that I may be incapable of working at all, even though I want to, because the cycle of getting a job and then quitting it just reminds me how incapable I must be of working despite thinking I can do it. I usually end up hating all of the jobs I've had. I get little from them except a paycheck and health benefits, which is my biggest worry right now with my neeed for medication, etc.
I don't feel capable of working full time either
because of the depression. I can tolerate working a few days a week but beyond that I can't do it. The last job which was part time but turned into 40 hrs which eventually did me in.I'm almost at the point of thinking I need to go on disability since I feel incapable of keeping a job and not falling into a depression every time I try and work. The trials are getting more and more frustrating because the older you get the more you need security, an income...
Is there a limit on the number of jobs you can have before feeling none will work out?
I've tried for too long to fit into a work environment but realize I don't fit and despite my efforts to do this many years it's starting to make me feel alot worse...almost like I should realize the depression will never allow me to suceed in any job and despite my efforts to stick with a job for longer than a year, the routine gets more and more exhausting and demoralizing.
Anyone else feel this way? Suggestions?
poster:stargazer
thread:693794
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20060706/msgs/693794.html