Posted by kylenn on July 31, 2006, at 20:32:08 [reposted on August 1, 2006, at 8:18:39 | original URL]
In reply to Re: YAWNING/Wellbutrin dose too high, SE seizures, posted by wacky on July 31, 2006, at 15:59:48
Could not have said it beter myself!
I had to face nurses as a patient (a "crazy" patient) that I had recently and frequently given orders to!
Later, I had to sit with all the psych patients while a guy I went to med school rounded on his psych patients. Thank God I was not "assigned" to him! I have never been so humiliated in my life.
The Backlash against professionals with mental illness issues apparently is not isolated to medicine!
And, I really, really have a problem with it.
I was, essentially, (and I suppose you were too) punished for being sick.
Lost my job, my house, my reputation, my community standing, respect of my colleagues,
went bankrupt, was turned down for a Texas Medical license 18 months after my SA because,
despite what my treating psychiatrist adamantly felt (as, of course, did I--that I was in remission from my depression) that I was...
what was the wording? That the episode of major depression was too recent for them to give me a license.
So, great, another feather in my hat of shame.You know, that is something I am supposed to report. But, they did (so nice of them) allow me to "withdraw" my application for a license which legally, according to my atty, means I never applied, so I guess that is wiping the slate clean? Who knows.
In Iowa, they were going to give me a license==providing I did 5 (FIVE) years of piss tests and being monitored by other physicians and seeing a shrink for 5 years, with no guarantee at the end of 5 years that it would be lifted.
It would, however, have been a private order, not reportable to the NPDB (Big Brother over physicians)My biggest beef when I went thru all that **&&%E
was that they were trying to label me a drug addict.
I have never been, and most likely never will be, addicted to drugs.The only meds I was taking at the time of my SA were the ones that had been prescribed (Zoloft, Zanaflex, Ambien, Toprol (for MVP) and PRN Xanax (1/2 mg/QHS--very tiny dose)
I had been refilling them myself (instead of calling my PCP for the refills) mainly because it was easier (I had nothing to hide!)
The fact that I tried to OD on my meds does not make me an addict.
They also tried to say that since I had been mentally checking out at night (to get away from the stress; at the time, sleep was my only escape, so I took my pills as soon as I had had a shower and left my 18 yr old daughter to take care of my 8 year old son if my husband wasn't there) that that was considered "abusing" the meds.
I think it was more an extension of my isolation (which is one of my "red flags" for recurrent depression).
To this day, I relegate most of the evening child care (my youngest is 11 now) to my husband when he is home. I am not the "soccer mom" type, and I do not think that is something I should be judged by.
The other issue I have is the overdiagnosis of bipolar disorder. They tried to DX me with that, as well. I had kind of gone along with the DX as an outpatient before my SA, as it wasn't affecting me in any negative way. The quack that was my shrink at the time was trying to convince me I had bipolar II disorder (although I had never had a manic or hypomanic episode) I think because I had told him that when things went well for me for several days in a row, I started to get a feeling of dread, waiting for "the other shoe to drop" and I suppose he thought that meant I was cycling??!! What an idiot. Of course, when I ended up in the hospital, the shrink there moved it up to Bipolar I because apparently, any Bipolar II that gets a psych admit automatically gets "promoted" to Bipolar I!!
Now, let me tell you, trying to prove a negative is nearly impossible. And I had to prove several negatives: I was NOT an addict or a drug abuser, I was NOT Bipolar II and therefore, not Bipolar I!
I also had to convince them ( the twenty or so mental health workers that I saw during my hospitalization, and the forensic evals) that I did NOT have PTSD, or Borderline Personality Disorder! Not a pleasant or easy task, I assure you. I am certain there are some (arrogance?) that still believe I am one or the other, but when I went before the Louisiana Medical Board to defend and keep my LA medical license, I was able to stand there and tell them that my diagnosis was Major Depression Disorder, recurrent, in remission, and that's it.
Not that that's not a big deal, it is.
But I can handle a label that I agree with, not ones that I adamantly disagree with.
Oh, the Iowa people wanted me to go to AA and Cadaceus Meetings as well.
Can you imagine sitting there in an AA meeting and saying, Hi, my name is X, and I am an alcoholic and drug addict... when you are not?!!
I would never have been able to stand all that smoke, anyway. (They smoke non-stop in those meetings. I had a boyfriend in the 1980's who took me to some open ones.)
I wish there was some way to turn around the current mindset towards mental illness in the medical community. Just because a person is depressed (and in my view, even if it is untreated) does not mean that they are a "danger to the public"
Depression (as a diagnosis) does not predispose a person to negligent or harmful behavior. That is more the domain of Antisocial Personality Disorder, or Paranoid Schizophrenia, and perhaps, psychotic Bipolar Disorder.
I think, generally, the personality disorders are worse since they are the most difficult to treat.
Additionally, if the Medical Board feels the need to get involved when a physician has a diagnosis of a mental illness, it should be kept private (not public information reportable to the National Practitioner's Data Bank as mine was) as long as the person is compliant with the regimen and recommendations of their treating physicians, and once released by their psychiatrist, the Board should not require continuing psych care as long as the physician's DX is in remission.
poster:kylenn
thread:672524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20060706/msgs/672525.html