Posted by Stephen Quinn on August 29, 2009, at 14:39:51
Back in 1997 i was a happy free spirited sort of lad,working,in a relationship,car and the usual things in life.One afternoon i decided to go and see my gp as i was a bit down,low....nothing suisidal...After a brief conversation with him he told me he was going to put me on a drug called dexedrine for a while...aparantly this would make me feel better,and turn me into an angel(his words.)Now at the time never having much information on drugs,not an addict or a user of any drugs my knowledge of drugs was very limited.I took the script to the pharmasist that afternoon,to be given aprox 400 pills of dexedrine,in just a white box and no leaflet.I had been told to take ten a day,but was causious at first,so i just took one.Twenty minutes later a warm feeling came over me,for the first time i actually felt quite relaxed,and calm.Little did i know this drug would haunt me for the rest of my days...? It was like almost an immediate mental addiction....like somehow the right jigsaw piece had been put into the jigsaw that had been so low for years,but looking back i wasnt low.I had lived in new york,los angeles,and at thyat time London...Anyhow the addiction started to get the better off me,as the doctor was prescribing them monthly,i would go back and tell him id lost the script,or honestly tell him i had taken them all,only to be given another script for a month....It was after about six weeks on dexedrine the side effects took over,i got into some terrible states with amphetamine psycosis,running through the west-end like some mad man,on an evenings leave...Jumping off bridges,breaking both off my legs,my arm,scaulding myself....not so much self harm,it was more like i would hurt myself before who-ever and what-ever got me...? First i started taking dexies to get through work the next day as i had got into the routine of staying up all night..The next step was to not bother going into work.After that everything that had mattered in my life in a small way or big just became a nothing.I lived and breathed for the drug,and anything,or anyone who got in the way was flattened.Including my relationship,morgage payments,anything,until after a few months i had nothing left to live for .....except...Dexedrine.My family were so worried and somehow got me to move back to Manchester where i was born,yet hate..Its so dull.I went into a mental health hospital,where i came off dexedrine and thought i was getting together again afater a month,but the doctors were at it again..."you must go to see the community drug team where you leave hospital,they will make sure you stay on track"..Yea right...? My first day outta hospital i go to a cdt and they say ow.....we do daily prescriptions here,we can make sure you dont overdose youll be fine..Back to square one in half an hour...they put me on a daily script,but doubled the dose from ten a day to twenty...Time went on and on the dex kept flowing,i went to see one dr in Baguley,Manchester (not mention dr Hannan baguley health centre) who put me on a dose of thirty five dex pills a day...thats 175/180mg a day of legal amphetamine...And she would double script me often giving me about 570 pills to pick up from the pharmasist as she would leave both pescrptions in my hand,telling me to throw one away...this went on for years with no questions from the home office or anyone...THE DRUG LAWS IN THE UK ARE BOLLOCKS ...Anyway i changed from doctor to doctor on diffrent amounts of dexedrine,none below 20 pills a day...Until 2003,when one doctor actually took notice of me as a person.She took me in hand,and actually tried to help me....and also going through the big world of attention defecit disorder...It turned out i did have adhd qquite severly,having two types of adhd (aparantly there are three)...But i had become addicted to the only known medication for adhd...Dont listen to those who teach dexedrine is not addictive due to a young age or it takes half an hour to get in your system..its pure rubbish...They always try and hide how lethal these drugs are...Elvis was addicted to dexedrine thats what killed him,along with what he used to help him cope with the comedown,dexies Midnight Runners the group after dexedrine,mar..Monroe amphetamine and barbs....which leads me onto Michael Jackson.....50 dates continusly at the 02,after 20 years of nothing...how..? But the doctors said it was downers that killed him,the anathetic,but just happened to quickly mention he used Ritalin also....hummm why...Because these drugs are lethal,they handed them out like smarties until aprox the year 2000.....The year in the uk it became dexamfetamine....not amphetamine. ? So until last year,i was on my eleventh year of getting dexamphetamine....Until a new dr turns up at the cdt (louise Sell) i go to het and tell her i had some information on dexedrine,it was just a thought but all the same important....along with quite a few other things that last year and the year before they had done to me which were deadly...They tell me dexedrine...no more,were ending your script....Yes they did take one pill off me a week for months,but the 30mg of valium i had been on for ten years they didnt...and by last June i had fell apart.How i am still here i will never know,my mother died last year also,my nan a few years earlier,and that is the only family i had left..no friends in manchester either,nobody....Basically i had a break down in July,locking myself ina bedroom,never went out,except to walk the dog round the block,never going anywhere as i had to keep myself locked in this hell-hole as every penny had to go on street speed,and anybody who knows anything knows dexedrine is so its much more potant than street sh*t...This year my mothers inheritance came through,robbed of one hundred thousand by my uncle (williamson Fowlar ) most of the fifty grand goes on apron 1% purity amphetamine...meaning it costs me five hundred pounds a week to just keep me going....My gp didnt want to know(dr Fink) even though he secretly works at the cdt on the (s)cide? This is reality not paranoia.....be warned dexedrine can be lethal..and if you have a normal functioning mind,you will become addicted...I now have to see a new psyciatrist next week,i pray to god he puts me backon dexedrine...I need it really to have a normal,healthy life now anyhow....The damage has been done,im on anti-sycotics and antidepressants,along with taking five nytols a night....anybody who knows what im trying to say do leave a message ive been to hell and back litrilly and hell it is............
poster:Stephen Quinn
thread:914708
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20090801/msgs/914708.html