Posted by ClearSkies on August 22, 2007, at 18:24:07
In reply to Re: How do you know if you're an Abuser???, posted by SometimesBlue on August 22, 2007, at 18:09:04
> whenever i'm "under the influence" i feel like i think i have a problem..when I'm sober, i hate the idea of me having a problem....i know i use too much of whatever is at hand...swometimes i'm up soemtimes i'm down...sometimes i can't deal, other times i want so bad to be clean....and no one knows...no one. I can;t be looked at like "that person"...i can't...but i feel like i'm dying inside, and still i have a smile on my face, cuz i HAVE to be ok...
How about this: if you find you're spending a lot of time wondering whether you have a problem or not, you probably do.
I fully knew I was an alcoholic for the whole 20 years before I was ready to do something concrete about it. Talk about being a slow learner... sheesh. And I feel like I had to learn the same lesson over and over before I got it. There wasn't really a magic moment for me, when the intention to become sober became the first day, and then the second, and so on. It was a tenuous grasp for me - I had to break my days down into hours and get through those first.
But putting the supports in place was critical for me. It meant going on Campral to help with the physical cravings; doing a 6-week intensive outpatient programme; finding a long term peer to peer support group that suited me (and for me, it wasn't AA but the Women For Sobriety organization); and ongoing one on one therapy, that I'll be doing 'til the cows come home, most likely. That's fine by me. It's working, that's the most important thing of all.
But the preoccupation, yup, that was the giveaway for me. That I couldn't stop wondering if I really had a problem.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:777855
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20070626/msgs/777864.html