Posted by verne on November 14, 2005, at 23:15:24
19 days or so. This morning my daughter came over to witness and sign a revised agreement. I knew I couldn't live up to the old one so we removed some things that could cause pressure and resulting failure - especially minimum times for certain activities.
I thought, what if I don't meditate twice a day for 20 minutes or read scripture 30 minutes a day, what if I fail? I realized that if I failed in some small way, I might give up altogether. Like, if I'm going down for theft, why not for robbing a bank?
Anyway, the new contract is only absolute about not drinking. Exercise, meditation, and scripture are still on the do list, just without any time requirements. One minute, one block, one verse, whatever I can do is fine.
But I went a little crazy grocery shopping yesterday, rewarding myself for surviving a close call. I bought all kinds of comfort food. Liverwurst, chocolate syrup, chips, hot salsa, mexican food, blueberries, cream, and, of course, ice cream.
It wasn't pretty. Nothing was left unopened. I went from liverwurst, to ice cream with chocolate syrup, to chips and salsa - all within 3 hours. But at least I didn't drink.
This morning, I surrendered what was left of the ice cream and liverwurst to the garbage collectors. The birds claimed the chips. I have the best fed birds, rabbits, and squirrels in the area. Blue jays and starlings were the only ones interested in the chips but I'm always throwing odd nuts, berries, and fruit into the backyard to see what kind of wildlife I can scare up.
I'm trying to go moderately low-carb - at least no bread or sugar. Think I'll eat apples for a week. I know they have too many carbs but I just want apples in a bad way, drink apple cider, and swim in applesauce. Must be a midlife crisis.
Hope I didn't trigger any food binging.
Verne
poster:verne
thread:578833
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20051106/msgs/578833.html