Posted by carlo on May 29, 2005, at 0:38:32
I have been sober in AA for 23 years. After 19 yrs. chemically free, I was diagnosed with depression and perscribed Paxil. After 6 weeks of hell, I woke up one day and the depression was gone for 4 years!(40mg. in the am). My doctor decided to try 25 mg. of CR twice a day. It didn't have the same kick so I started self adjusting the dose up and down and I gradually drifted back into depression. During the last 3 years I've had 4 surgeries(2 rotor cuff and 2 carpal tunnel)I was prescribed Vicodin each time for the pain(in spite of telling the doctors that I was an addict and afraid I would kick off my addiction). I was able to quit using the pills each time when the pain subsided and I never took more than prescribed. Secretly I thought the Paxil made me bulletproof and I no longer was an addict. I started "borrowing" Vikes from my wife to help me get things done around the house. I started feeling guilty about using narcotics and talking about recovery. I confessed to my sponser and he told me that I dodged a bullet and needed to stop self medicating. So I did for a week or two. Then came the insomnia and being tired at work. Then I stole ten Vikes from my wife and started taking 3 per day. Then I conned her into rationing me pills every day. I stole Percosets and Xanax from my sister. Can't shake the Obsession! Haven't used opiates for 2 days. Currently taking 30mg Paxil twice a day and started 18mg. Stratera a week ago. I can't get that good feeling back that Paxil gave me for 4 years. The Stratera was my doctors idea thinking that might help the Paxil. I think I need to get off the Paxil. Any feedback would be appreciated.
poster:carlo
thread:504540
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050506/msgs/504540.html