Posted by marjorie on January 6, 2005, at 9:03:50
In reply to NEW -?s help re: alcohol withdrawal (long,sorry), posted by marjorie on January 4, 2005, at 12:50:52
I want to personally thank each of you for responding to my post. I think I was much less confident than I sounded when I wrote it. In fact, the reason I haven't been back sooner is that later that same day (Day 3), I fell off the wagon. I have been pretty disgusted with myself for not even being able to go three lousy days without a drink! I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't think I would cave that quickly.
However, I am back to trying to look at the bright side, and I do believe there is one. For one thing, I didn't drink anywhere near as much as I normally would -- probably only had about 30%-35% as much as usual. Also, I think it's a step in the right direction that I was extremely conscious and aware of every swallow I took -- I didn't just mindlessly down drink after drink. I also made the conscious decision to stop when I did, after only a few drinks. That's something I haven't done in a very long time. Usually, once I get started, I don't even think about stopping. So while I am certainly not making excuses for myself, at least I am not allowing my first backslide to cause me to throw in the towel.
Since that one time, I've been okay again. Circumstances will prevent me from being tempted to drink tonight, so tomorrow will be my new Day 3. Unfortunately, it will also be the start of the weekend, so that will be hard for me, since that's when I always really want to drink. I would be interested in any tips or advice any of you could share with me that help you get through the weekends (or whatever your trickiest times are).
Since I started this though, I have noticed one weird thing happening that I haven't heard anyone else mention, and I would like to know if anyone else has had this happen: (Sorry, this is a little gross. Skip this part if that bothers you.) Frequently, I will start out by coughing, and then I'll have almost a gag reflex where I almost spit up a little. This happens when I haven't had anything to drink for a few days. Anyone familiar with this?
I really want to express how much it helps to be able to talk (write) with other people (you) about this whole situation. I feel very comfortable here, very supported and very much not alone! I am actually surprised at how much comfort I take in knowing that this is a resource for me. It is more helpful than anything else has been. I think maybe I can really do this this time. I feel protected and strengthened by the anonymity and yet closeness I feel so far with each of you. I am touched that virtual strangers would be willing to take the time to help me with this problem simply by virtue of having been through it themselves. It means a great deal to me.
On an individual basis:
partlycloudy -- Thank you for responding to my post so quickly. That was the first real outside validation I got that what I was doing was the right thing, and that I would be able to accomplish it if I committed myself to it. I appreciate your many reassuring words, particularly "Nothing is insignificant". That really struck a cord with me, because I do question frequently whether something I am thinking or feeling is insignificant or not. It was almost as though you read my mind. I needed to hear that. On another note, I am afraid that in my case, keeping this from my family is more about my embarassment and shame than it is a reflection on them. I believe that they would be supportive, and the time may come when I chose to share it with them. I very much appreciate your offer to email, and I may take you up on that too. Finally, I just want to say how very impressed I am that you were able to self detox after so many years of daily heavy drinking. I hope to draw strength from your example. I am glad to hear that your symptoms only lasted a few weeks. I truly admire the dedication and willpower that took. Please let me know of anything in particular that helped you through the rough patches that you might be willing to share, and also whether you have any advice on making sure I get the right nutrients. Thanks again for your kind and reassuring sentiments.
AuntieMel -- Thank you also for your helpful insights. I had not considered the sugar withdrawal aspect. Somehow drinking never seemed to have much to do with sugar, but I guess it does. I usually drink orange juice anyway, but I will up the amount and see if that helps. I must admit, when I first read the chocolate part, I thought, "Well, that won't help me. I'm not much of a chocolate eater." Then, last night, I had a bit if a craving for a drink, and my eyes fell on a box of Godiva chocolate someone gave me for Christmas. I wasn't even planning to open it, but I remembered what you said, and so on an impulse, I had a piece. Then I had one more. Then, remarkably, the craving was gone. I never, ever would have believed it! Somehow, that did work. So not only did you teach me that trick, you also taught me never to dismiss any advice out of hand when it comes to this! Also, I checked the B-Complex vitamin that I take and it does contain B12, so I doubled my dosage of that. Do you think that's enough, or should I try to get one that is B12 only? I still have to get the folic acid. Finally, as I said, I am not yet ready to go either the family or the AA route, but I know that you are right about needing to have someone I can depend on if I get in trouble. I will give that some thought. Thanks again for your help, and please keep it coming!
alexandra_k -- Thank you also for your words or advice and encouragement. Your message came at a time when I was feeling discouraged and needed to be picked up. I'm not sure I was drinking long enough to have to worry about seizures. I wish I knew what they felt like coming on so I could recognize one. Is it like an epileptic seizure? Also, although my Dr does not know about this, he prescribed clonazepam months ago to help me sleep at night when I was going through a particularly rough time. I only took a little of it and have a good bit left over. I've seen a few snippets about using that to help with self detox, but I'm not really sure how that would work. I am not familiar with benzodiazapines, but I will see what I can find out. Thanks again for your help, and any advice will always be appreciated.
Thank you all again for your continued support and guidance. With your help, I am truly committed to taking this one day at a time and giving it my all.
Marjorie
poster:marjorie
thread:437655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20041128/msgs/438436.html