Posted by Caper on November 11, 2004, at 17:29:35
Hi everyone,
I never made it to the 4th Nov. appointment with my therapist because I went a little crazy before then.
I started training for the escort service (and yes, it really was non-sexual- although they negelected to tell the men that til they got the money in hand!) Anyway, good girl that I am, I felt sorry for the men and decided to tell them at the end of my shift that I couldn't work there. Waiting for my next "appointment" to book, I fell asleep on a sofa in another room and they didn't wake me. So I woke up at about 8am, knowing that I'd been out all night with no notice to my parents, who were watching my son. I felt so awful!!
Then instead of just going home and explaining, I freaked out and just started driving. I ended up in my old University town, parked in the medical center parking garage, and then lived in the back seat of my car for about 2 and a half days! I went out for liquor and tiny bits of food and that's it. I was trying to get up the nerve to admit myself to the psychiatric unit there, but couldn't bring myself to until I was nearly out of money.It was insane! I have a degree in government and politics from this University, but I didn't find out who won the presidential election until 2 days after it was decided- and I didn't care at all when I finally heard who won.
Spent a few days in the psych ward, got out, drove around for another day and went to another psych ward when the money was completely gone. I'm so messed up! What was I thinking?!?
I'm feeling a bit better now, going to AA, but I wonder when this might happen again. I'm trying to be honest about how much I really _knew_ what I was doing and how much was truly out of my control.
Any feedback would be appreciated. Sorry for the venting.
Have to run to a meeting now, but hope you are all doing well, and I will check the posts out for myself later to see what I've missed.
Best wishes,
Caper
poster:Caper
thread:414700
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20041013/msgs/414700.html