Posted by Caper on June 5, 2004, at 18:26:29
In reply to Re: Impermanence, how are you? » Caper, posted by Impermanence on June 4, 2004, at 21:20:42
Hello Impermanence,
Glad to hear from you. Sorry to hear about the drinking but I must confess I am not stone cold sober myself. I'm not back on the hard liquor, but I don't feel comfortable not having a bottle of wine within reach.
Regarding the posts, it would be annoying if they were truly deleted, but they really aren't. On my screen I just click on April 4 (at the very top of the posts on this board, and they are still there, just archived.)
Thanks so much for your sweet thoughts. I've pretty much come to terms with the childhood stuff though, I think. It's classic: if you have children with chronic serious illness, you have to give them more attention. And if you have a daughter (me) who never gives trouble you never look for it and never recognize it if it appears (hence the months of daily drinking with no one aware in the slightest!).
You sound like a very sweet guy yourself, and I have to admit I look for your posts first now when I log on. I enjoy our conversations a lot.
I'm going to look into some of the vitamin stuff in more detail I think. As far as nutrition, I have a hard time with that because the drinking puts weight on me, so my impulse for a long time was to not eat, just drink. But that of course made me feel horrible, so I'm just trying to keep tapering the wine, and my diet is very low carb (because of all the sugar in the wine). I also work out (treadmill and/or weights) nearly every day. The treadmill helps the most- it clears my head and makes me not want to drink. (By the way, my weakness is chinese food and Taco Bell- do you have Taco Bell there?)
But you're right, the alcohol should be the main concern. I have a visit with a very good friend planned in a about a week and I haven't seen her in years, so I'm trying to taper (or at least hold steady) my wine intake, just hold on until after the visit. After that my therapist wants me to try a new hospital that specializes in "dual diagnosis"- both substance abuse and depression. But this hospital supposedly keeps you for longer than the other hospitals I tried (which basically detoxed me in 3-4 days then turned me loose without addressing the depression). I don't want to miss my friend's visit or I'd check myself in right now.
You take care of yourself too! I care about you as well and look forward to your posts. You've helped me quite a bit- your honesty and practicality combined with what I sense is a great sense of humor is a very good combination. Keep in touch please.
Warm hugs,
Caper
> Hi Caper, as you might have guessed I'm drunk, yet again..... I just can't help myself. It was a bottle of Pernod tonight, the stuff is growing on me big time!! Sorry I got ratty about our threads being deleted but I still think that was unfair and out of order, I don't see any threads being deleted from the other "Dr.Bob" boards..
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> Anyway I'm doing O.K. hun, I hope you are too..
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> It makes me sad to think how your perents could leave such a beautiful person in the dark, I understand they had much to deal with but they seem to have forgot the little star in the family was getting no attention.
> I want to hug you so much right now to make up for some of the time you lost with them. I can see clearly why you became anorexic, the bigger the expectation the harder it is to be anyway normal. It must have been very tough on you, I can only imagine what it's like to need to be thin every day for everybody. *hugs*
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> Caper you are no longer getting no attention, you already are a very important person in my life and I've never met you!!! Thats saying something my darling... You are a beautiful, intelligent woman who deserves a damn sight more respect than you are getting..
>
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> On the diet side of things; I take cod liver oil other fish oil, multivitamin and calcium tablets every morning. I think it helps babe. I think the omega 3 oils are very important. I exercise also and it is half the battle. I'm pretty much in shape but I wish I could keep away from the oul KFC, we all have our demons lol!!!
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> Anyway nothing wrong with a bit of junk food in moderation, I think I should be more concerned with my alcohol intake!!
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> Anyway I'm going on and on..... Caper you are a beautiful person, I really care about you. Don't ever put yourself down, you've already helped a person thousands of miles away by just typing.
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> Lots of love and hugs. xxxxxxxxxxx
poster:Caper
thread:353859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040604/msgs/354105.html