Posted by Caper on May 14, 2004, at 22:09:43
In reply to I'm Scared, posted by Brady on May 11, 2004, at 20:13:05
Brady,
I hope whatever I babble out makes some sense to you and is helpful. I'm in a very early stage of recovery from alcohol myself. Maybe my story will help you.
I'm 31 and have been addicted to alcohol (I started with wine too) for about a year and 4 months. It started with about a bottle a night, but within 4 or 5 months was up to four bottles, and within 9 months I was drinking as many as 6 bottles a day. I couldn't go more than three hours or so without it. (Later I had the "bright idea" to switch to vodka- cheaper, easier to conceal from my family, and didn't make me gain weight like wine did.)
I tried to taper my usage, just slowly drink less but it did not work at all. Finally I gave in and confessed to my family and mental health professionals- I just couldn't take it any longer. I was sick when I drank and sicker when I tried not to drink.
Since October of last year I've been detoxed in different places several times. Right now I've got about 2 weeks sobriety. My longest ever was 4 weeks.
Anyway, detox may not be something you want to do on your own. First of all, there can be bad medical complications, but secondly, one of the things that helps keep me sober (when I am, that is) is the fact that my family and friends KNOW now about my problem, so it makes it harder to obtain the alcohol, conceal it, and drink it without anyone noticing the effects on my personality. I hate it when I slip up and disappoint them, hate the disgust some of them show when I relapse and that's a powerful motivator. Also, you need to have someone in whom you can confide when you feel yourself "slipping"- my term for starting to crave and plan ways to get it.
My first bit of advice would be to confide in your regular doctor if you have one. If you don't, call a local community mental health service. They can give you advice on whether it is possible or advisable for you to attempt detox on your own. Be prepared though- many will not even consider giving detox medications like librium or ativan to an alcoholic, for fear you will mix them (with potentially fatal consequences).
Next, don't be afraid of going to an in-patient detox. Not only will you be monitored medically, and made a little more comfortable while your body adjusts to the lack of alcohol, but you will also get the social support of others in your situation, plus referrals to places that can help you once you are discharged. Recovery does not end at discharge- that is really just the beginning.
With all of my failed detox attempts, I hope I don't sound like a total hypocrit for giving advice. I've heard time and again that it often takes more than one detox for it to really change your habits. I'm hoping and praying this last one WAS the last for me, but I'm not pretending to have all the answers. All I can do is encourage you, tell you what I know about both "medical" and "self" detoxes, and maybe help you with your fears of detox or of admitting your problem. I just hate the thought of you getting worse.
Anyway, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers Brady and I wish you the best of luck. If you'd like detailed information on just what detox was like for me (in several places) feel free to e-mail me at Caper@playful.com I'll answer any question I can. If insurance is a problem, there are ways around that too.
Hope this helps a little. Good luck!
Caper
> I am fairly young and I have been drinking, at least, a bottle of wine a night for about 4 years. I am interested in the valium, self detox, but I am terrified!!! I keep drinking because I am afraid of the withdrawals and sleeplessness. If anyone who has successfully done this, even for a short time could offer some info/advice I would appreciate it.
poster:Caper
thread:345912
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040409/msgs/346972.html