Posted by Dr. Bob on March 24, 2004, at 18:34:42
In reply to Sexual Addiction « Buckeye, posted by Dr. Bob on March 19, 2004, at 12:44:01
Re: Redirect: Sex Addiction - let me try here » Dr. Bob
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 19, 2004, at 14:46:50
In reply to Redirect: Sex Addiction, posted by Dr. Bob on March 19, 2004, at 13:45:27
I'd like to take a shot at it here, please...
The common thread through all 202 12-step addiction programs is the notion that we are not "enough", that we have a hole to fill to be "enough". I fill mine with cheesecake while many fill it with booze and dope and appearance. We are never "enough" it seems. The fantastic truth is that we have always been "enough".
Sex gives satisfaction which is supposed to fill us up but never does, because life is so much more than satisfaction. Satisfaction is a consequence not a goal. No matter how much sex we use in our lives attempting to spackle over this hole with satisfaction, we remain chronically dissatisfied, like a dog chasing its own tail.
Something happens when we turn 15 and try to fit our adult life into the visions of our childhood and nothing fits. Sadly, we blame everyone for the pain this lack of fitness causes, but for the wrong reason. We always expect to find satisfaction in our lives. Since these people we blame would always come running to help, it becomes their fault we are so dissatisfied now.
They did fail us but not in any way they could understand. They kept trying to help us feel good when we felt so bad. They needed to teach us to honor our adulthood and trust better our senses to help us live as adults, not just the same kid all-grown-up; a rite of passage. They weren't taught that, so our error is in blaming them for not being taught something.
Its only confusing when its new information that you've never seen play out. This stuff really works. I've seen it work hundreds of times. It took me 20 years to get it right. You can get it much faster, trust me! I didn't know what I was even looking at, so I couldn't accept what I didn't recognize.
Rod
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In Calif you find help at CoDA and SLAA meetings » EmmyS
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 19, 2004, at 14:54:07
In reply to Re: Sex Addiction » Buckeye, posted by EmmyS on March 18, 2004, at 10:18:05
CoDA = co-dependents annoymous
SLAA = sex and love addicts annonymousCo-dependency is the communicable variant of sex addiction; it rubs off, pardon the pun.....
Thanks Emmy for the WEB site address
Rod
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:326054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040130/msgs/327886.html