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Re: Do i even want to win?

Posted by Lamdage22 on September 5, 2019, at 21:24:59

In reply to Re: Do i even want to win?, posted by alexandra_k on September 3, 2019, at 15:08:47

> maybe.
> if you could win without being under the spotlight then would you like to win?

That's a good question. I like to play well. Under pressure. Maybe I subconsciously think I don't deserve it?

> sometimes it is about the journey rather than the destination for people. thinking of some olympians who said their gold medal felt empty to them. what was meaningful was the training and focus on the game in the build up and perhaps also their memory of their actual performance on the day.

I totally get that. For me, it is the same.

> i have wondered about whether i self-stabotage, too.
> but i have learned: not in this environment. it simply isn't the case. that's just what the people would have me believe so i internalise the blame for their bad decisions.

Can you elaborate? I don't understand!

> do people around you have a habit of targeting those who get the spotlight?

Hmm. They did in school.

Seroquel 900mg :(
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Trazodone 100mg
Venlafaxine 37.5mg
Metformin 2000mg
Lithium 250mg
5000 IU Vitamin D3




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