Posted by Angela2 on June 28, 2015, at 18:41:01
1. My diagnosis. I've been so scared for so long to come out with it. Even on a mental health support board. Here's what I'm diagnosed with: major depression, social anxiety, schizoaffective disorder. It's time to come out with it. People don't really know what the last one is, and I don't feel the need to explain to anyone, unless it's a close loved one. I'm grateful, because while most of the time I feel like a normal, everyday person, there are times when this last diagnosis makes sense to me, and it makes me feel better. I think that little by little, I am seeing people with this and other schizo diagnoses come out of the closet about it, so to speak. It's really not such a bad thing, for one, and two, it's incredibly misunderstood and feared by the society as a whole when really it doesn't need to be. Schizophrenia does not equal violent and evil. I'd like to see a day where I can feel good about myself, and say, I have this diagnosis. And at the same time, know that any diagnosis I have is not my identity.
2. My mom. She made dinner for us, stuffed shells. Yum and she's awesome.
3. I really want to be successful. I want to be able to live on my own, go back to college, hold down a job. These are things I want for myself. ps: I have an interview later in July at the local medical university. Yay. It felt really good to see that I was wanted for the interview!
4. I want a partner (wow, I think this gratitude list is turning into a wish list, lol). I also think that i need a substantial amount of time to myself. Oh yes, yes I do.
5. I'm grateful that everything has happened the way it has. When I stopped being friends with R, my guy friend, it was really hard on me. I literally threw a tantrum. A few times. Things were hard for a little while. But I've begun to face loneliness. I mean really face her. And it's not so bad. I experience really deep emotions about it, loneliness. And lately, without R's help, I've been dealing with it on my own. It's a great feeling. I feel triumphant and accomplished. Watching Bob's Burgers helps. So does writing and drawing cartoons :)
I guess that's all I have to say for now. I have a 2015 - 2016 goal list that I'd like to show you all at some point. But for now, I'm signing off :) Wherever you guys are I hope there's a silver lining somewhere in your Sunday.
poster:Angela2
thread:1080054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20150604/msgs/1080054.html