Posted by baseball55 on March 14, 2015, at 19:30:27
In reply to Re: Need dating advice, posted by Zyprexa on March 14, 2015, at 0:47:01
> What do I talk about? How do you just start up a conversation? I have not dated in years, don't know how to start again.
Hmmm. If you see her in the dentist's office, just ask some questions that are neutral to start. Like - how did you cope with all this snow? or how many hours a week do you work? or the traffic was awful getting here. Do you have a long commute? Follow up questions to these are pretty self evident, assuming she is forthcoming. (like, oh, you're lucky to have such a short commute. Where do you live? Do you like it there?) When asking follow-up questions, intersperse the questions with information about yourself. People like to be asked questions and to talk about themselves, but they also like to feel they are engaged in a give-and-take.
But I'm not great at small talk, so not the best person to give advice. I actually have an easier time getting to know someone in a more intimate setting, like going for dinner or coffee and sitting down one-on-one. It's just that, to do that, you first have to find some common ground to make the date. My common ground is generally activities I'm engaged in with others. My job, classes I take, AA. Any advice columnist will tell you that the best way to meet someone is to get involved in some activity where you interact with others.
If you can't seem to muster the courage or figure out what to say, it might be helpful to enroll in a therapy group, since these focus on relationship skills.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
poster:baseball55
thread:1077487
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20150214/msgs/1077522.html