Posted by alexandra_k on July 6, 2014, at 21:41:41
In reply to Re: spore, posted by alexandra_k on July 6, 2014, at 0:28:30
internet working again, excellent!
i really was getting worried about it (that i'd have to track people down and say i didn't know there was a quota and i'm sorry please can i have it back now?)
but it is back!
that game dr bob posted a link to is really very addictive once you get the hang of it...
i think it is helping me remember that 2x8=16 ahahahaha
it has inspired me to get back to work on that maths website... This time with my good old friend the calculator...
it really is next to impossible for me to know how i'm actually doing... at the theory, i mean... i know i f*ck*d up the enthalpy calculations on the exam... my brain was totally fried by the time i got to them :(
(i mean... it is next to impossible to know how i'm doing in the sense of... what to make of me. even what other people do make of me. even... what is realistic for people to make of me. am i hopelessly deluded abotu med? with respect to academics? with respect to non-academic aspect? with respect to both? i just... don't have a sense... whether i'm a serious contender, even, or rather a lot of a joke, actually).
also... i think i understand now why people seemed rather shocked / horrified at the thought of my starting over. i think it is because most people... genuinely do have a sense that luck has been on their side. they have made it in the world, somehow, and they are a little bit berwildered about how they arrived at where they are... the thought of starting over... i think it scares people. people wonder 'how would i fare if i had to start over again?' there is this idea, too, that times are tougher now than they used to be... i guess improved social mobility means... less security for those placed nicely... people are aware of that and are glad they don't have to.
me... i seem to need to learn everything the hard way...
anyway... there is some high school level physics stuff on the chemistry website, too. a little on mechanics and rather a bit more on waves... so i can work away a bit at that...
helps to learn the symbols. and some practice with equations... just very simple equations are really hard for me... i'm just really not used to them at all. then the first one i learn is converting moles to mass and mass to moles and limiting reagent.. then enthalpy... q = m times c times delta t... but then a change in enthalpy is equal to q at constant pressure over the number of moles you have... which you will need to figure out... and also remember that the energy of the system is equal and opposite to the energy of the surround and that we can't measure the system directly. and don't forget to convert your units AAAAARGH. and scientific notation... a lot hard for my brain. and that was just... two lectures.
one of the things i f*ck*d up on the exam was that i spent too long learning later stuff (thought there would be more of a focus on testing that) rather than properly revising organic. i spent ages on acids and bases... figuring out how many molecules of each... log scale conversions... and ages on batteries with the whole 'oxidising' thing... and there were TWO FREAKING QUESTIONS on battteries - for 2 marks. 'what is reduced' (the metal) and calculate how many volts (i guess you figure the difference between the numbers?? that is a guess). and that was it. then drawing a f*ck*ng reaction diagram for organic... which i couldn't do... they upped the ante on the organic, i think. or maybe it was just my imagination since i didn't revise for it as well as i could have.
our grade isn't back yet. which surprises me... i thought they usually cracked the whip on exam marking... i have resigned myself for a B-... or a B if i get compassionate for the labs... B+ would be a bit much to hope for, i think. pretty sure i really didn't ace that exam... A- would be... f*ck*ng amazing. but out of reach. fairly f*ck*ng certain :( i'm... upset... but just gotta keep on trucking... nothing else to be done...
anyway... something something about the numerator and denomenator being in direct proportion.... and two of the others being inversely related...
i really can't tell if my brain is (and always was) broken when it comes to this... whether i'm perminently brain damaged because i never acquired these concepts during my earlier development... whether i'm really slow to learn them... whether... whether i'll ever come right.
hard to say. i guess all one can do is... keep on trucking.
my neighbour has gotten a bit noisy... that might mean that she is moving out. people tend to get noisy when they are moving out... quite a few students seem to be just here for one semester (US exchange students). so... she was pretty good... only kept me awake on 2 or 3 occasions... which is pretty good, really. pretty good, indeed. i mean... could be better... but could also be so very very very much worse.
i am fighting off being sick... i love my room so very very very very very much. i can turn up the heating (surely need it right now) and i have my view out on a very overcast and foggy day... and i have freshly made coffee and internet... and i have time... time and space and quiet (aside from teh bloody banging - what is she doing? building something?) and i can feel happy and productive doing some internet stuffs...
court on wednesday. i... i hope i get diversion. it might be a bit problematic (to put it mildly) if i don't...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1067810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140621/msgs/1067986.html