Posted by alexandra_k on February 27, 2014, at 22:16:23
In reply to Re: deep breaths..., posted by alexandra_k on February 23, 2014, at 2:19:41
so orientation is nearly over. which is just as well, since it is all the... disorienting things that i'm not really here for. looking forward to class.
looks like i'm only going to be doing one class in the first semester and then two in the second. i hate that. keep enrolling in other things and trying to justify it... i need to remember what i'm up to... better to just do the one course and really follow up on mastery of all the background etc etc etc that i need... that's the point, really. building mastery / confidence. preparation for next year. instead of getting distracted by mathematical ideas and sport science... and probably even stats is a bit far afield from epidemiology (though i've emailed a query about that).
things are ticking along...
i got my phone. i sorta love it... but i sorta hate google so... took a bit to figure how to sort things out to it takes advantage of wireless signals rather than using phone data... figuring how to kill the internet app... figuring how to properly log out... i didn't properly appreciate that android was google. oh well.
i have set up a calendar... but i think really i'll get more mileage from my wall one. i do have a bit of figuring out how much to keep my old strategies that worked well vs moving to new ones... i still think there is something important in a physical wall planner. i am surprised at how pretty my text books look on the screen, though... much nicer on the eyes... something about the oversaturated color lol.
anyway... learning chemistry. i am.
oh. i got a lab coat. it feels very odd. to everyone, i think. and safety glasses for chemistry lab. it was funny... whole bunch of people milling about till one person gets up the courage to try them on -- then a bunch of people dive in.
i really feel like a first year again. in a way i haven't felt since i really was a first year. will i be any good at this? will i find nice people in my classes? i guess it is because... i care. which is probably a good thing. the right kind of social anxiety.
went to a seminar the other week and went to dinner etc with the philosophers after. nice to be welcomed there. really very. means a lot. next two speakers... both people i know from my old instituation. the first not so much (he probably won't remember me). the second... more so lol. i need... to figure my story. my narrative. in a way that i feel comfortable... that seems okay... i don't know. lots of philosophers come from maths... i do get weird surprised / recognition of what i'm doing when i say about how i never really did math and feel that i've missed out on a lot and it seems important that i do this... i think they are cool about it, really.
i bailed on the science welcome today. listened to a bit of a welcome from the assoc. dean which was nice... some stuff on how it doesn't matter what you do so long as you excel... some nice stuff. but then lots of 'say hi to the person next to you yay you made a friend'. only of course mostly people didn't because they are hanging out in their high school gangs. and lots of high school gangs there are too... the bio-medders / medical hopefuls... 18 year olds who have had everything handed to them right down to their private schools... sigh. it's okay. uni will change them... and they are scared, too. and there isn't... any work. for anybody to be focused on the right things yet.
i went to this mature student welcome which was kinda good. i met an artist (i don't know heaps about art but his name is definately familiar). got a personal invite (card) to an opening exhibition... i'm probably too scared to go... he's starting fine arts... nice school for that here... but nice, anyway... i'll perhaps look into it some more... i think i really like his work, actually... and i met a lady (maybe 5 or 7 years older than me? maybe more?) who is starting science. i asked her more... and she was a bit dodgey... she might be doing a foundation year crossing her fingers she turns out to do well for transfer into bio-med, too... anyway... she's doing chemistry, too. and she's focused, of course... so... worst case... there are the two of us! which makes me feel a lot better about the whole thing. really, heaps. she's doing a bunch of other random stuff... stats... which got me thinking of it... but i suspect i'm better to just stick to chemistry... do really very well... extend myself into the stuff for next year... then focus on bio / physics next semester.
it is going to be okay.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1061016
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140129/msgs/1061484.html