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weaknesses i can't overcome(how do you start)

Posted by Phil on January 25, 2014, at 10:43:46

it's saturday, great day to get things done. just like the last two saturdays you didn't get things done.
these bills it's been two weeks. i might have disability stuff to do. plus there's a week's worth of mail not checked.
eight bags of trash in the dining room, i'll get that today. 10pm well, sunday's a better day for taking out trash.
i might feel better if i took a shower. when did i do that last? i'll take a shower but i don't even have food here. i hate big grocery stores. i'll go to wendys. i come home and think check the mail. oh i'll get that later. I sit in a lawn chair because it's the only chair I've got. Hey, I'll buy a chair, life will be good. So i say, just get off your *ss and get it done. that's your answer. i stand up, lightheaded, maybe i should eat. too much trouble, i go back to bed. maybe i should call my closest friend of 30 years. But i sent him 80 emails last week and i wasn't nice. he's pissed for good reason. this has never happened with us. maybe i could pick up my gun from him and end it all. that's a plan, as soon as i get this trash out.

i see my doctor...how is it going? Ah, i'm doing great really good. phil,can you be honest this time? (I break)doc, i can't get out of this spiral. are you suicidal? no but even if i was i'd never get it done. well, maybe after i check the mail.

keep the sense of humor phil. doc a guys on the couch his analyst says so you have feelings of inadequacies. we see that a lot with people who are inadequate.



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poster:Phil thread:1059495
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140102/msgs/1059495.html