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Re: self control

Posted by alexandra_k on September 25, 2013, at 20:02:49

In reply to Re: self control, posted by Partlycloudy on September 24, 2013, at 20:18:21

I did poorly at PE in school, too. Mostly because it was competitive, I think. And because they were more interested in watching us and picking the 'naturally best' than in giving us any kind of formal instruction and picking those with 'most potential' (if there is such a distinction to be made). E.g., I couldn't throw. Nobody bothered to teach me. I was naturally good at High Jump. But then all of a sudden the kids started with the back flip technique instead of the split jump. And I wasn't competitive anymore. Again. Nobody bothered to teach me. I didn't get picked for school gymnastics because I couldn't do a handstand. Again. Nobody bothered to teach me.

Bellydancing sounds great. Control, again. I fractured my spine... I remember my Mexican friend trying to teach me to Salsa. Western people are all 'up and down' and can't move their hips, he was saying. He was right... Even Zumba... Freeing the pelvis from the lumbar spine...

Yoga is good, yeah. That is where I got this from... Part of a sun salutation sequence (I love sun salutations but I've never got up at the crack of dawn to do them, admittedly). I saw the handstand as part of a down-dog to forward fold transition. Down-dog to handstand to forward fold. That is what inspired me. Of course... It is gymnastics inspired, too. I suspect the yoga person who did it was gymnastics trained... But there are similarities in physical activity (proper movement) perhaps like there are similarities in the worlds major religions if you dig deep enough...

> The main thing about these exercises is that they need never be competitive, which is important to me. And I am much stronger than I give myself credit for.

Yeah. I found... Competing with others mostly left me feeling inferior. Or... That is got me outside myself in some way that wasn't useful. I compete against myself... Being inspired by seeing myself make progress... But mostly... I've had to learn to go easy on that one, too.

For a while there... I really did just focus on training every day. And eating for training. I did that for quite a while, actually. Most of last year. And even before that... I was never close to elite level. But I got confused about strength standards (intended to be inspiring for division one 18 year old college level athletes who were new to *strength training* (and where female standards weren't particularly adapted from male)) and berated myself on why I wasn't progressing faster towards those (as a very beat up new to exercise 30 year old) ahahahahaha. Like why 1 chin up was so f*ck*ng hard when I should be able to belt out 4 or 5 of them. Or why I couldn't squat my bodyweight (around 70kg) for reps (all the way down). I don't push myself as hard as I once did. And I don't sleep for 13 hours of every day as I once needed to, either.

There is a middle ground to be sure.

I'm trying to enjoy playing more now. Less heavy (for me) weights... More movements... Like the handstand, thing. I can walk my hands forwards so I won't fall over backwards. And I can transition to cartwheel if I start to fall to the side. So I... Can't hurt myself practicing handstand anymore. I am invulnerable mwahahahaha.

 

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