Posted by Christ_empowered on October 24, 2011, at 11:03:50
In reply to Re: School. Parents. Frustration. » Christ_empowered, posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2011, at 10:37:45
hey, phillipa.
Yeah,one definite downside of being dependent on your parents into adulthood is that they decide your life course. Their dream was for me to move to this oppressive little southern town and get a blue collar job and I guess eke out an existence. When that didn't work, they bought a place and now we're at peace, although apparently part of maintaining that peace means "knowing my place," and my "place" apparently doesn't involve higher education.
I'm happy to be back home. Before I kind of felt like I'd been banished. Now I'm back and I'm feeling much better.
Sorry about the nursing situation. Do you have to do psychiatric nursing? I mean, I don't know how well it pays, but you could do something else. How about hospice nursing? They have certificates/endorsements for end-of-life care now. You could also do something really cool, like be a legal nurse or a health informatics+nursing. Just some random thoughts.
I don't think I've been acting crazy. Less docile, yes, but crazed, no. The voices may always be there, with or without the neuroleptics. By now my Abilify blood levels should have dropped considerably. I know it builds up in the brain so I won't be fully off the Abilify for a while, but I already feel a difference. I'm more clear headed, my concentration is better, I'm not eating as much, I'm more responsive to my environment. Weirdly enough, I'm less anxious.
I'm hoping that the Lamictal will be sufficient to keep me out of a hospital. I was tempted to take an Abilify yesterday. I think I've grown so accustomed to the chemical straight jacket that I confuse normal things--anger, sadness, mood fluctuations--with "symptoms." I'm hoping I can get out of the habit of seeing everything as a "symptom," constantly checking my thought processes for signs of deviance, and just learn to deal with myself.
The Lamictal probably numbs my emotions a bit, but I don't think its nearly as intense as the neuroleptics. Anyway, my main problem has always been low mood with a tendency towards psychosis. The voices may always be with me, but the Lamictal takes the edge off both the hallucinations and the low mood, so that's good. Its also unlikely to trigger mania or worsen the psychosis, so its definitely better than taking a reuptake inhibitor. Also, antidepressants numb my emotions considerably more than the Lamictal does.
poster:Christ_empowered
thread:1000677
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20111012/msgs/1000696.html