Posted by zonked on May 29, 2011, at 23:50:49
In reply to Re: feeling sad in the midst of a success.... » floatingbridge, posted by SLS on May 11, 2011, at 14:43:28
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> Perhaps you are undergoing a saddening discovery process. With less depression, you are discovering with a clearer mind what you may have missed. Are you lamenting what is or what was?During lasting remissions, it hasn't been unusual for me to become angsty over years I've lost to this disorder, whatever you want to call it (major depression/bipolar II)...
That's where psychotherapy could have helped me in the past - even when the machinery upstairs starts working again I'm still stuck with a lot of angst, anger, regret, and fears; and a lot of maladaptive thought/behavior patterns that have stuck around from my depressions even when I've felt better.
*Nobody* who knew me before my first depressive episode anticipated that I'd ever end up disabled, or with mental illness...
That reminds me--this time, when I pull out of this, I won't hesitate to seek out a decent psychotherapist to help me work through these issues. (Therapy is pretty useless as low as I've been lately.) I haven't felt like I could achieve anything I set out to do since my first year of college--even in remissions! But there was a time when no one could stand in my way if I wanted something - academic, personal, vocational....
Scott, how the hell are ya lately anyway? Hopefully you've been better than me since last I was active on babble...
-z
poster:zonked
thread:985091
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110517/msgs/986603.html