Posted by inanimate peanut on January 17, 2010, at 17:59:43
Now that I'm supposed to be packing to leave for Stanford tomorrow, I really don't want to go. Well, I'm going to go now because I have a non-refundable plane ticket, but I wish I had never made the appointment. I'm so anxious about it I'm about to take my PRN, and I try not to take those except in emergencies. I'm going there because I want to know what medications to take to get better. Period. And you can be the top expert in the country, but you can't give me drugs that don't exist. When I made the appt., I knew very little about meds but now my nano-fraction of knowledge includes the names and basic info about most meds indicated for bipolar depression. They're not going to pull a magic med out of their pocket. And yes, to those who say I should be going for other reasons-- to gain insight into my disorder, to learn x or y, I probably should. But, to me, that's not worth the considerable expense that I've incurred for the trip. I know I should just go and see what happens, but I can't stop thinking about it and worrying. I can't do anything about it now but just wait and see. Isn't it funny how anxiety doesn't let you make those decisions?
poster:inanimate peanut
thread:934091
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20091125/msgs/934091.html