Posted by cloudydaze on December 29, 2009, at 23:59:26
Hey all :) it's been awhile, once again, but I like to check in. I'm still hanging in there.
I've been off medications (for bipolar) completely now for 7 or 8 months. In May, I ended my 7 year long relationship, because I decided it wasn't in my best interest to continue with it. I was pretty happy for a few months...had a short lived fling with a guy who seemed nice, but turned out to be a compulsive liar who was leading several women on. I got really upset for a few days after finding out, and terminating all contact with him...but then I decided I'm better than that, and wasn't gonna let him win.
So I joined a dating site. Single life was really fun for awhile, I went on some dates and stuff...but met one guy I really actually like, but seems so wrong for me but so right at the same time...does that make any sense? When we started hanging out in October, we both said we didn't want a relationship because of all the drama involved.
I've basically been hanging out with him almost daily since October. We've been intimate, but not sworn to be exclusive...even though he's really the only one I've clicked with, and I spend a LOT of time with him just hanging out.
My main problem with relationships is that I get attached REALLY quickly and easily. I swore to myself I wouldn't do it again, but here I am doing it all over. He went away a few days ago to visit family for the holidays, and I miss him. Like a LOT. It also doesn't help that I'm really lonely anyways because I sprained BOTH my ankles on the ice at a party Christmas Night, and haven't been able to get out and do much. So I'm not sure if I really miss HIM or just the comfort of being with someone rather than alone.
I have a theory that I have what I call "reverse social anxiety" meaning that I get REALLY anxious and agitated if I go for more than a day or two without hanging out with my peers. I NEED social interaction. If I don't get it, I get severely depressed. What is this? Is it a bipolar thing or a separate phenomenon?
On a brighter note, my ability to socialize has paid off...through my networking, I've come into contact with a local artist group, who wants to help me get freelance work, publish a book (which i've always wanted to do), and participate in art shows.
Also in the works: I've had the idea to do a local Zombie Walk. For those of you who are not huge zombie fans, let me fill you in: basically its a bunch of people dressing up like zombies and walking the streets. It seems pointless unless you're a die-hard zombie movie fanatic like myself. They have them all over the world, and they can be HUGE.
It started out as an idea for me and a handful of my zombie loving friends, but it turns out, there is a HUGE local zombie following. I started a group on an *unnamed social networking site*, and in a little over a week, there are nearly 170 members. So, I decided since all these people want to do it, I'm going to have to get it cleared by city council (so no one freaks out or gets arrested) AND I'm going to do it as a CHARITY benefit. This has the potential to become an annual tradition - something big! And it will benefit people in the process! And...it was MY idea. Still not sure what Charity to donate to yet, but I know I want it to be something that will really benefit the community. I want to make a difference.
So I've got a LOT of planning to do in the next couple of months to make this event happen. If I play my cards right, this will be a fun event that will really impact the community.
poster:cloudydaze
thread:931525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20091125/msgs/931525.html