Posted by Tabitha on September 4, 2009, at 1:08:52
I got some news yesterday that my brother's wife's brother's wife killed herself with a gun in the family bathroom. Left a horrific mess that completely traumatized her mother-in-law who was unlucky enough to be first on the scene. They had to call in a crime scene cleanup group, it was so bad.
I did not know her, but my brother knew her pretty well. She was 40 and left behind a husband and four children aged nine to fifteen.
I feel mostly hard and angry toward her. What a waste! What an awful legacy for her children to live with the rest of their lives.
She left a note stating her reason was that she didn't want her family to have to take care of her. Her own mother was bipolar and she was afraid she'd end up the same way. I didn't quite understand the details here. I asked, didn't she have health care? She did, but I'm not clear if she was getting mental health care. I know treatment is far from perfect, but I can't help thinking it's plain ignorance and stigma and medical incompetence that's the big roadblock to living with bipolar for a lot of people.
My brother was shaken up as it brought back our mother's loss for him. Makes me glad she at least didn't use a gun.
It just seems so very selfish. Who was she to decide her children were better off with what she did than with "having to take care of her"? I can't imagine if my mother had done it when I was nine instead of thirty-five. I don't think I would have survived.
The only bright spot is it gave me a chance to talk to my brother about staying on his meds. I think he's finally accepted he needs ADs for life, like I do. But then I think he's said it before. I hope he means it now.
I'm too angry to even be sad for this poor woman right now. I hate that I'm even giving her act more attention, and passing on the disturbing tale to others. Yet somehow I want to share it with someone.
poster:Tabitha
thread:915688
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090827/msgs/915688.html