Posted by Fivefires on August 12, 2009, at 22:50:58
The way m***er responds to me when I am looking for comfort is invalidation and then bringing her bro' up. He was perfect in her eyes and they were very close, and he & his best friend were killed in a plane crash and I was conceived in the next 3-4 mos. I was named for them both. Is there something going on here that is damaging? She holds things in. I cry for things to be brought out and figured out and settled. Im seeking comfort at ending a 14yr relationship, but still, invalidates, and reminds me of his demise and its affect/effect on their mother, whom I loved very much. I think it's because she wanted me to be as nearly wonderful as he, and, now, I'm a disappointment. When in high school and very popular and marriage to a man much like me morally and socially she was very good to me. We've never been real kindred, but that was fine. But as my life worsened and as hers did, and he was always mentioned, ... why?? I've always thought it was HE WENT THROUGH THIS SO HOW CAN YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH AND I LOST HIM SO I KNOW MORE ABOUT PAIN THAN YOU, but, what is really happening here?
Insight please?????? I don't want her to leave this world w/o understanding why it feels like she hates me. I'm currently pretty much shunned by whole foo.
5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:911857
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090802/msgs/911857.html