Posted by JadeKelly on February 23, 2009, at 22:25:23
In reply to Re: I feel bad about thinking this *trigger??* » Deneb, posted by Kath on February 14, 2009, at 20:25:28
> Hi Deneb,
>
> I think it's good that you're giving this some thought & analysis.
>
> Do you talk with your T about it?
>
> I think in the past one time, you realized that knowing your friends care about you is really important to you (isn't it to us all!!) & that sometimes you used not the healthiest ways to get them to show you that.
>
> It's not easy to come right out & say, "Hey - I feel like I need some attention" (or reassurance, or whatever it is we need)
>
> It might not be all that hard for some people to say "I need a hug". But for that same person, it could be hard to say "I need to know people care about me"
>
> We're such complex beings.
>
> Well Deneb, I care about you & value you & am certainly glad that you're part of my life!
>
> hugs, KathHi Deneb,
I know we don't know each other...I hope its okay that I'm answering your post. I've noticed over the years that people are so different in how they respond to "help". My Mom actually gets angry at me if I try to inquire or help with an illness. To me this is the perfect time to show her how much I love her. To her, she just wants to be left alone, no matter what it is.
I'm sure the people who love you would do what you really need if they knew what that was, and would want to show you that they care.
Trying to figure out what it is people REALLY need can be difficult. In your case, I think maybe the way you were raised has left you wanting a little more assurance that you are loved and cared about. Sometimes people just don't know what to do. Maybe you could tell them. If your feeling down like you really want to know someone cares, call a "safe" person. Ask them to spend some time with you until you feel safe and cared for.
I know its harder than it sounds. But I hope you'll try it.
~Jade
poster:JadeKelly
thread:880040
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090209/msgs/882067.html