Posted by 64Bowtie on December 13, 2008, at 4:28:46
» Seldomseen »
When visualizing negative outcomes (Outcome Thinking) lacks the oooomph to restrain the Imp, going OOB leaves the Imp no where to hide... If we find ourselves beyond manageability, our Imp is loose, and we are it...
I have discovered that I can label myself "Shame Based", thus much of my grammar school and teen years were spent conjering up new and disgusting ways to traffic in shame... To what end, still a mystery... I still react to the darndest things by visualising step by step what amount of shame and when, would be appropriate to control some other person's behavior...
Mindlessly (dysfunctionally), I would embark on the grand strategy of shaming another person into this or that behavior, thus controlling their arbitrary and out of control behavior... I've operated from that flakey notion I learned in grammar school, that kids shrivel up and stop misbehaving, when the shame is applied strategically by some authoritative person (nuns)...
Trust me, it doesn't work, and it is dysfunctional... Its a product of a multigenerational and multilayered dysfunctional upbringing... I'm a product of that same multigenerational and multilayered dysfunctional upbringing... Shaming a person to improve their performance by attacking their self image and self worth is sad and very "nutty" no matter how well intentioned...
Rod
PS: My simplest understanding of dysfunction is that it is a collection of destructive bad habits based on distorted and misguided opinion and testimony (beliefs); a suite of bad habits supported by distorted and misguided beliefs...
poster:64Bowtie
thread:868430
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20081126/msgs/868430.html