Posted by Kath on September 3, 2008, at 17:45:49
In reply to Re: sick of being sick, posted by riot on August 31, 2008, at 22:30:24
> I think what's so hard is that I can't trust anyone. Mainly because ever person I love has left me. Including friends, mentors, and boyfriends.
******Of course it would be very hard, given your past! It's part of you protecting yourself...taking good care of yourself!!!***
> I want to learn to trust again. Part of that comes from learning to trust and love myself.
****Give yourself time. Last sentence above sounds pretty 'wise' to me!! Insightful.***I don't trust my own decision making mainly because everything I have ever done has been "wrong".
**********I just copied part of your first post. I do NOT agree with you on 'everything I have ever done has been "wrong"...read the following quote from YOU!! :-)
"I recently moved out of their home for the last time. I got off all the substances I was using except marijuana. Entered therapy and started exercising....
After another bout of serious depression and mood swings I have entered myself into a 28 day crisis stabilization program. I am being seen 2x a week by a therapist and psychiatrist. We are hoping to get my medication worked out."Really - that is a LOT of great stuff you've done. I hope you can pretend someone else is telling you that they did all that...I wonder if you'd think they had done some good stuff! Even if you wouldn't, I really think the above stuff that you've done is AMAZING!!!!!******
> Right now I feel like I don't serve a purpose on this planet. I want to make a difference. I have no idea how.
*******Give it time hunnee. :-)
You've had a lot of trauma in your life. Right now, I'd say you're doing your "job" of getting help for yourself & getting better. You have your whole life to serve a purpose on this planet & to make a difference. Really! People like you, who have suffered a lot & experienced a lot of trauma, have a LOT to offer humanity because you can empathize with others in their suffering. You might decide to study to work in a helping 'field' or you might not - if you don't, you can still offer your insight & your empathy.Please be patient. Right now it's time to take care of yourself & to heal.
I send my love.
Kath
PS - I hear your pain & frustration. I'm sorry if I might seem to be minimizing that! It must feel very frustrating to maybe feel 'stuck'.
It sounds like you have some very good support in place. you've done an amazing job...good things take time.....with the determination that you have, I believe that you'll succeed.
xoxo Kath
PS - I'm going away for a week on Saturday. And am not sure how much I'll be on the computer over the next couple of days. i care about you. I find it really exciting to hear of someone your age who is forging ahead in a positive way with their life!
Please keep us 'posted' about how things are going for you.
poster:Kath
thread:849046
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080816/msgs/850133.html