Posted by Dinah on July 11, 2008, at 11:48:22
In reply to Re: Bullies, posted by TexasChic on July 10, 2008, at 21:18:34
Unfortunately, interpersonal self help is a hard prospect. It requires a certain amount of objectivity. I wonder if there are reasonably inexpensive coaches for that in particular? If not, it would be a growth industry. "Specialist in how to negotiate the tricky waters of office politics"
I'm afraid I've only worked at one small office where everyone knows everyone else. So office politics is more of the sort of flareups that happen in families. There is one of my bosses who has been known to scream at people, and to be difficult with them. He rarely does that with me, but mainly because he's afraid I'll break down in tears or scream back. Both of which I've been known to do. The former more frequently but if it's a topic of the right way to do things, and I'm pretty sure of my position, our conversations have been known to get pretty loud on both sides.
But clearly my way of working wouldn't work in a large office, and definitely not with a female boss. My old school male boss is terrified of tears. And I'm valuable enough to them that they put up with my shortcomings.
My dear husband gets on wonderfully at work. I suspect that it might have something to do with the fact that he is blissfully ignorant of emotional overtones. So he cheerfully works away, doing a good job and ignoring any office politics because he's probably totally oblivious to them. That may be the secret, but a difficult one to learn for people who aren't born with a deficit in emotion sensing. Which is not an insult at all. He's enormously happy in his job, and isn't torn by all the stuff I'm torn by.
poster:Dinah
thread:838524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/839261.html