Posted by TexasChic on June 16, 2008, at 20:13:37
In reply to Re: The lovliness that is my life » TexasChic, posted by Dinah on June 15, 2008, at 10:02:34
I've been reading up on it, and apparently its not unusual for females bullies to move up in the company. I mean, the fact of the matter is, my boss is highly intelligent. She can talk her way out of anything! Here's a link of one of the articles I was reading:
http://www.worktrauma.org/womanandgeneral/womens_issues.htmToday went okay, she was back to her Dr. Jeckle persona. But I was so tense all day it was terrible. We had this evaluation thing we have to do that is separate from our reviews. Its supposed to help you find ways to improve the areas you have problems with by taking classes and implementing procedures that will help (you have a whole bunch of alternatives to choose from). For the past two years mine has said that my strengths were multi tasking and accuracy, and my weakness verbal communication. Although I've improved in the area of verbal communication substantially over the years (I used to hardly talk at all!), I do know I still have a way to go to be a confident speaker (not a public speaker, just interacting in general). I'm WAY better at writing, believe me! But I've always been very proud of doing so well at multi tasking and accuracy because organization and time management is so difficult for me.
Well anyway, because this last set we had was so huge and crazy, naturally I made more errors. So this is what she focused on. Not how hard I worked, but typos and things like that. So of course, this time my weakness was listed as multi tasking and accuracy. That just burned me up! I couldn't even trust myself to respond to her. Just the injustice of the whole thing had me outraged!
Well, eventually I calmed down and realized the best way to handle this, what will make things easiest for ME in the long run, would be to go along with her. Besides, I figured anybody could benefit from extra training in those areas. So I sucked it up and found all these classes for me to take and procedures to implement in order to improve my accuracy and ability to multi task. And after I got past that, I realized... it was really no big deal! So I humor her! I know the truth and so does everyone else who works with me. Now I can't believe I almost lost it, and would have made things a thousand times worse by arguing and trying to defend myself.
That being said, I have to say one thing that has been weighing on my mind this is a reoccurring theme for me! I always have these problems no matter where I work, so I can't help but think I must be doing SOMETHING wrong. I have read though, that when being bullied in the work place, it tends to happen over and over again to a person because there is a certain personality that attracts bullies (and I have it, lucky me!). But I'm still going to keep an eye out for something I can change to prevent it from happening again.
Overall,I think the main I need to keep in mind is I can't let other people have so much control over me that I obsess about it constantly and make myself sick over it! Easier said than done, but still a good thing to keep in mind. Also, an older mantra of mine - I can't change the way other people act, only the way I react to them. That's a big one for me. I have to constantly remind myself of that.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:834525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080601/msgs/834979.html