Posted by Deneb on May 31, 2008, at 18:14:07
I'm probably going to San Francisco for the Babble Party next year. I found some articles about there being a suicide every 2 weeks on the bridge.
This doesn't make sense at all, but I keep thinking of jumping off it. It doesn't make sense because I'm pretty happy right now. Is this some sort of obsessive thing, like how some new mothers think about killing their baby?
So I have this fear of jumping off it, but somehow it also seems kind of romantic. I imagine walking across the bridge with Babblers and Dr. Bob and then maybe Dr. Bob will talk to me and I'll be really happy and just suddenly jump from the bridge. Then I'll die in a happy, mysterious and yet nonsensical way.
Gawd, that would be so traumatic for Babblers.
I'm pretty sure I want to live to be very old and see Dr. Bob many times.
Even though I don't want to die, I think I'll still like to walk across it. But I fear impulsively jumping to my death.
Most likely nothing will happen. In D.C. I was happy but still had thoughts of hurling myself onto the subway tracks. Obviously I didn't do that so maybe these are just obsessive thoughts.
But then again, subway tracks aren't that special. The Golden Gate Bridge on the other hand, is majestic and spectacular.
As a child I took a field trip with my class across the Golden Gate Bridge. Even then I thought of jumping. It's alluring.
This is scary because on the meds board someone says Slinky killed herself and I read some of her posts and she seemed fine. I also read about this person who jumped off the bridge and left a suicide note that said something like, No reason, I just had a toothache. So it's possible that a happy person could just impulsively jump.
poster:Deneb
thread:832251
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080428/msgs/832251.html