Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 2, 2008, at 21:55:36
Hey all
Ohhh this is weird, tough, sometimes exhilarating and once in a bit even feels good.
I stopped Prozac almost a week ago, after months of deliberationactually many months.heck almost a year. I had been pumping 7 or so, at times, drugs into me, and they did so/so sometimes, but quite often left me tired, very grumpy and touchy, fat and like I could eat forever. Never mind a 0 negative sex drive.Well, I now only use my clonazepam, and some herbal stuff which actually work quite good. I was told it would take about 3 months for the weight to start to really come off, and the sex drive to start to come back. But, I will say, there has been a somewhat subtle but positive change in my overall thinking. I can now feel on a much deeper level, without breaking into tears, or that I am an eternal loser. I actually feel hopeful. (Knock on wood..heh.) My face even looks better in the mirror! I catch myself making those rock star faces and poses in the mirror!..lol. I dont feel the scream inside.I dont yell and lash at other drivers. I dont sleep 17 hours a day. Yet I feel a bit more calm, and blood doesnt race through me like it used to. I still eat some junk food, but no where near as much as before. I can actually think about tomorrow and not have a nervous breakdown every time! Ha!.
But, there is still a ways to goI know that for a fact. I still have to get a bit more excited about things, and about women. Music still has to touch me even deeper. I can still be a nicer, better, happier person, esp. to the ones I love. And of course, I still must, must, must shed this god darn weight. When I get my mind set on something.this is one of my strengthsIll do it. My meds in the past, I know now, took that away from me.but maybe at the time I needed that. Even now, just losing a couple of pounds over the past week felt like something, even though it was not much. My old jeans fit much better, and I looked pretty good in them I must say! (Sorry for tooting my own horn.I havent done this in sooooooo longohhhhhh..I am not trying to be egotistical).
I guess the challenge for me is, I know I am not going back to the Prozac. It just doesnt do anything good for me anymore anyways. (It only really, really worked in the first 6 months 5 years ago.) I have a tiny voice that for some reason reminds me there are other medications out there. A few I havent tried. They are still SSRI/SNRIs, though, so will still give the same side effects on sex and weight and emotions. So, it takes a tiny bit of my will to keep my mind away from even thinking of those things as an option. Maybe if I was going through a real HELL, then yes I would consider. But, too much good outweighs the bad. Id really love to hear your guys comments. I now want to livelove.dream.I lost that for so longnot sure if it was illness or combo of meds and illness. It doesnt matter. And no, I am not in a manic phaseI sleep great8-9 hours a dayand have felt this way for quite awhile now.
Thanks kindly,
Jay
poster:Jay_Bravest_Face
thread:810387
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080130/msgs/810387.html