Posted by Racer on January 13, 2008, at 13:08:26
In reply to I'm off to a bad start in school, posted by Deneb on January 13, 2008, at 11:50:46
You know, there's this advice I've heard about all sorts of things: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I've heard it in all sorts of different phrasings, but it comes down to this: if something works for you, keep doing it.
Hiring a tutor made a big difference for you. It was a great idea, and it worked. If it worked, why not do it again?
Yes, I understand that your family is pressuring you about a number of things, but here's the way it looks from my perspective, reading your posts:
Your family are pressuring you to finish school. They're pressuring you to do well in your classes. And they're pressuring you NOT to do the things that will help you finish school successfully.
Can you see a problem there? Seems like there's something wrong with this picture...
Deneb, I did well in college. I did well because I set up study groups for most of my classes, and I hired tutors for many of my classes. Between the tutors and the study groups, I did well. What do you think? Does that mean that, somehow, my grades don't reflect my success? That somehow it's cheating? Those things worked for me, and how well they worked was reflected in my grades. I think the tutoring worked well for you, didn't it? If it worked, why not do it again? So you spend a little money on a tutor -- those tutors need the money, and you benefit from the tutoring. Win-win.
What does your pdoc have to say about this? I'll bet she'll tell you pretty much the same thing I'm telling you -- if it works for you, it's worth doing.
As for your family, maybe you can use this to practice speaking up for yourself? "Gee, Mom and Dad, I understand your concern about spending money on a tutor, but since I benefit from it so much, and it's helping me successfully finish school, I plan to hire a tutor." You don't have to include any negative characterizations of their pressure -- only include the positive side: "I benefit, therefore I'm going to do it."
Deneb, you deserve more support at home. School is hard, and it's harder still when you don't have a supportive environment. I'm very sorry you're not getting your needs met right now, and I hope things improve for you.
Good luck.
poster:Racer
thread:806140
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080104/msgs/806163.html