Posted by Gabbi-2 on August 16, 2007, at 19:11:08
In reply to Re: compliments on appearance, posted by Racer on August 16, 2007, at 14:45:00
I agree, with you and Lurpsie, I think a complimenting specific thing is the way to go.Now, if someone told me I'd gained a ton..
Actually my mother would.
No, she'd say "Wow you've really ballooned out"
It doesn't make me happy.
> I'm very careful about compliments on appearance, because I know what comes into my consciousness when I am complimented. Any compliment related to my weight comes through as "you're a fat pig, and they feel sorry for you." (Yes, even "you're thin" comes across this way. That's part of being crazy, you know?) So, I try to be careful not to offer up anything that someone else could hear in a similar way.
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> So, when I compliment, it's usually about something fairly specific: "Wow, that's a really great color on you, really brings out your eyes." "Your hair is so wonderful, so thick and glossy!" "You look great, your eyes are so bright today -- you look happy and it looks great on you."
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> I have a hard time with compliments, too. Mostly, I just squirm.
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> Ironically, the compliment that stays with me through years -- decades, now -- was a family friend saying to me, "Wow, Racer, you've gained half a ton! You look great!" Again, the joy of craziness...
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poster:Gabbi-2
thread:776471
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070803/msgs/776684.html