Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 17, 2007, at 1:24:08
Once again...tonight I had made plans with my brother to go and hang out...some drinks and such on the patio. So, he just doesn't even call me...nadda. I called his place, got the answering machine. Even his cell phone was off.
Now, yes, years ago, I had problems just 'socializing' with anybody, and I didn't show up at some of my brother's parties. But, I took the time to explain how horrifically painful it was for me to socialize and be around people, and what social phobia is all about.
He just thinks I am 'lazy', but that's his prejudice. So, he f*cks off on me again.People just don't seem to like being around me. I went to a going-away party for my nephew last week, and his Mom (my sister) and hubby invited over a hundred people over. I was scared *sh*tless*! All of these 'cool' people, a young couple with a baby...they must have only been in their early twenties. That was so damn painful to experience. My brother-in-law makes a very rude comment, that people over 40 just can't be as good as parents as people in their twenties. He knows that if I don't have a child from a relationship, that I am thinking about adopting a child or two. But noooo..that's too *weird* for them. Anyways...at this party, all of the 'guys' where being their macho selves, drinking beer and trying to show how 'cool' they are. I came very close in feeling like I wanted to start an intellectual argument with one of them. So...it was...'there is Jay...the weird mental guy who just can't keep it together'. Aww well...F*ck them! I should have gotten wasted and fallen into all of the furniture (do a Lehey from Trailer Park Boys...hahaa.). Plastic people....FU*K that burns my *ss!
So, I increased my clonazepam and Prozac doses to try and numb it all out. So I guess I'll always be 'Jay The Freak' to my so-called family. :-( Geezz,,no wonder I haven't taken up heroin.
'Jay' Freaky man
poster:Jay_Bravest_Face
thread:763668
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070523/msgs/763668.html