Posted by capricorn on April 4, 2007, at 17:26:57
In reply to Re: Delusional thinking? » capricorn, posted by Declan on April 4, 2007, at 16:57:24
> Your belief that you are being trivialised etc recurrs for a reason.
>
> Either because you are, or perhaps because you need constant validation your friend sees no reason to supply?
>
> What do you think?
I admit i am very insecure and i tend to take what she says to heart,be it positively or negatively,more than i do anyone else i know online.I do not actively seek constant validation but it is easy for me to fall into doubt mode.
If you were to be nice to me as you are now/praise me i would feel quite good about myself but if someone else came along 5 mins later and told me i
was no good or i perceivd they were i'd do the outward denial/inward eating me up and seeing myself as no good/useless etc and other negative things.It's just worse with her.Most of the feeling of invalidation comes because i feel when there are problems with me and a third party or parties she invariably tends to side with them and rebutts my side of things .
Outside of the above type situation i like her a lot in a strictly
platonic way to the extent that maybe i put her on something of a pedestal.
I can easily swing from a kind of platonic adulation(which i don't openly voice) to telling her that i am blocking her emails/will
never post on a forum she runs ever again and other similar things.Given the fact that i can be a complete head case when i am emotionally
worked up/stressed be it with her or other people(think full scale acute hysterical rant/rave defensive mode with rising paranoiac overtones)
and she still engages with me then maybe she is genuinely a friend but there is this nagging doubt.It doesn't help probably that my ability to trust is about as fragile as fine china falling off a table.
poster:capricorn
thread:746875
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070322/msgs/746974.html