Posted by Larry Hoover on February 6, 2007, at 9:33:10
There are a number of people posting here, seeking support. I salute your courage, in expressing that need. I could probably join you, in honesty. In fact, I cannot express individual support at this time. I just can't. However, I can speak of myself, and my coping strategies.
I hear that the big picture is overwhelming. That life is a burden of immense proportions. When it gets like that, I break it down into manageable pieces. If years are too heavy, then I can limit myself to months. Weeks instead of months. Days, in turn. When it gets down to hours, or minutes, I know it's harsh. I was down to seconds in November and December. What gets me through is a simple mantra, "This too shall pass." It always does.
The key is to use mindfulness. You don't need to be Buddhist to do this. ;-)
I have discovered that what crushes me hardest is my emotional reaction to my experience. For example, I am enduring a chronic pain condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. When the pain is bad, I enter a meditative state. I let myself have the pain, and release all hold over fear, anxiety, effort, and so on, that I quite naturally experience in turn. This makes the emotions transient. They are quite real, but by not holding them, they move on. And so does the clock. I come out of the mindfulness period, and I've managed time. And I come out better than when I went in. Always better. This too shall pass. Moreover, I can help it along.
I lost both my parents in less than four weeks around Christmas. I totally understand that you can't dissociate from family. From external emotional bonds. But you can be selfish. You can do what you need to do. In the end, that's best for everyone. Do what you need to do. Get it done. Second by second, if need be. And come on back.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:730310
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070130/msgs/730310.html