Posted by Daisym on January 27, 2007, at 17:51:37
In reply to Re: i really like this quote about abuse/torture.. » happykat, posted by alesta on January 27, 2007, at 13:41:13
****on a side note, it's so funny cause i always thought i had conquered my past and it had no influence on me...but now i see that that isn't true...not everything is under my control...
>>>>I found that out too! It infuriates me to think that even the good things I do (working with kids) is partially motivated by my past. Reenactment is such a strange thing to study and think about. Self-awareness can sometimes lead to changing your relationship patterns. But other times it makes you feel so responsible, at least speaking for me.
The other thing that was painful to learn was that you can set yourself up to be revictimized even if the csa was done without violence. In those cases, like mine, love and sex and acceptance and nurturing and care-taking, get all confused. How many times do we find ourselves trying to fix people in our lives who don't want to be fixed and who twist us into thinking we are the ones who need fixing.
Sounds like you are doing a ton of self-discovery work. I know it is hard and painful but keep at it. You are worth it.
poster:Daisym
thread:726992
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070122/msgs/727245.html