Posted by Racer on October 7, 2006, at 1:41:51 [reposted on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:22 | original URL]
In reply to Re: And I'm confused by something else..., posted by rjlockhart on October 6, 2006, at 23:43:28
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> I will i have to be on it, with out her knowlage and will, it really can be ugly when she finds out that i have now said she cannot go into the session with her.Are you saying you haven't let her know yet that she can't come in with you? If so, that's fine -- just remember this one thing: no matter how hard it is in that one moment to tell her she can't come in, the benefits of that will last for a very, very long time. It's the first step towards solving many of your problems.
And if you've already told the doctor, even better. That way, the doctor can help you make the situation more clear to her.
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> She controls my meds, she thinks i cant take them responsibly, I can get my own insurace at my work, but she will then do even more outrages things such as take the keys away and maybe say you not going to work, now that is when i would join the military.Whoa, Nellie! Matt? I'm gonna assume it's daylight again by the time you read this. Read your last paragraph again: what do you notice? You're predicting the future, you're going from point A to point K with no stops in between -- you're going over the top there. Break it down to individual steps:
A. I am going to go into my doctor's appointment on my own.
B. I am going to tell the doctor that I am feeling overwhelmed and over controlled by my mother.
C. I am going to tell the doctor that I am having trouble with concentration, and that I think I would do better going back on stimulants.
D. I am going to tell my doctor that my mother controls my prescription medications, and that she says I cannot take stimulants.
E. I am going to ask the doctor to help me.
That's that. Where in there do you see the military as a solution to the immediate issues? I see one doctor's visit, where you tell the doctor how rough you're having it right now -- and then I see you shutting up and LISTENING to what the doctor has to say to you. And I mean listening. Not just letting enough words come in that you can tell him why it won't work. Really listen. It will help, Matt.
If nothing else, the doctor has one thing going on that a lot of us here have, but you don't have yet: age. That doctor has more experience of living on this planet than you have yet. I know you believe to your bones that you're experiencing things none of us can imagine. Guess what? You're wrong about that. I'd bet MOST of us on this board, and virtually ALL of us over 40 can relate a whole lot better than you think we can. If we haven't known others going through similar things, we've been though them ourselves.
That's why we can give you awfully good advice, you know?
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> The military would tear my *ss off, but i just stumped here.No, Matt. I think you're romanticising the military. I've known enough people in the military -- your brain would break. Don't do that to yourself. Make friends with reality instead.
For one thing, Matt, as long as you "solve" problems like this by running away, you'll never feel as though you have any control over your life.
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> Maybe this is a good time to get out of my comfort zone, which actually is hindering me from growing.Maybe it's a good time to get out of that comfort zone, Matt -- but this isn't a good way to do it.
> My mom is sweet but she still thinks its 1993 im a kid.
>I'm gonna be very blunt here, Matt: maybe she is treating you as though you're a child because you are behaving like a child?
There are a lot of things you could be doing for yourself, things that can realistically improve your situation. What you've talked about with seeing the doctor alone is a great first step. It's a wonderful, fabulous, brave, and realistic first step towards independence and confidence.
Take that first step, Matt. We're all behind you, and I wish you well.
poster:Racer
thread:691924
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061005/msgs/693016.html