Posted by TexasChic on August 13, 2006, at 22:32:12
This week at work was kind of stressful. There is one chic I work with the most, other than my boss - we're both under her. She is very sweet, from South Carolina like some people I know, which made me feel good about her. She know's very little about computers, but knows ALOT about the business we work in, so we can help each other.
So anyway, we were given this assignment to update some pages that go on the internet. She hands me this page and says this image has to be changed. So I say okay, where is the Quark document located? She didn't know. Okay, so after searching and not finding it I think, maybe I can reproduce it and ask "Where are the images?" She didn't know. I'm like o-o-okay, so I have to update these pages, I have no document and no images, and she has no idea what I'm talking about. Of course KnowItAllGirl who I'm replacing wasn't there, and given the disorganization and ineptitude I'd run into so far, I do the only thing I can think of and reproduce all the pages from scratch as best I can. We work for three days on this.KnowItAllGirl girl was back the second day, but I didn't want to go to her since she ridicules my abilities every chance she gets. However, after realizing we were never going to finish, and questioning the quality of the finished product, we finally go to her and she berates us for not coming to her sooner. After asking repeatedly why we didn't, I eventually tell her the reason why I didn't come to her was because I felt like she would ridicule me if I asked a question. She's pretty upset by this, and later when we were talking to my supervisor, she makes a comment about how she has one person that trembles every time she speaks to her (meaning me). I didn't want to get into it in front of my boss, so I didn't say anything, but I was fuming. I was like, I'm not scared of you you arrogant bitch! I just don't want to deal with your drama! Of course I just said this to myself.
Well anyway, she ends up helping us both out, NOT without being irritating. But I can tell she's TRYING, and nothing else effects me as much as someone actually trying, so I do my best to make thinks go smoothly and thank her for her help. At the end of the day she comes by my cubicle and tells me I need to go home (my supervisor had told us to take off early because of all our hard work - she had already left for the day). So, KnowItAllGirl girl waits there until I turned of my computer, gather my things, and then she walks out with me. She was obviously trying to be nice, so of course I was nice back.
All this actually has nothing to do with being the 'same old me'. That came into play when I got all paranoid thinking S.CarolinaChic and my boss were upset with and avoiding me. I actually found myself thinking, "Well I'm just not going to speak to them and see how long it takes them to speak to me". Minutes later I'm like, "What am I doing????" Its just so hard to let go of the paranioa! S.CarolinaChic later tells me she had a severe case of PMS that day, and it was a very bad day for her. When will the suspicion stop though! When will I be confident enough to know I've done my best no matter what anybody thinks, and that's enough!
So that's my complaint for this week. I really just needed to vent and get it out. I hate when I find myself falling back into old patterns.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:676215
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060806/msgs/676215.html