Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2006, at 2:38:58
In reply to Oh my God - Now my Test begins - news from B.C., posted by Kath on July 23, 2006, at 20:34:34
Remember that detachment.
I can only imagine the pain you must be in. It's hard to stand by and watch my son in little boy pain.
But once they get to be an adult, I guess the key is realizing that you just can't make yourself responsible for things you have no control over. He's making choices that you can't change. He knows you're there for him when he's ready. And he may have fantasies that you can save him. But you can't.
I'm all for doing whatever I can do for my son. The key is in sorting out what you can and can't do, and having a certain amount of detachment over the things you have no ability to control.
Maybe it would help to make columns? Things I can do. Things only he can do. Things I am able psychologically to do. And try to step back from anything that isn't in the first and third columns.
I don't know anything harder in the world than to stand by and see our kids or our family hurting from their own choices, or from situations we can't control.
poster:Dinah
thread:669839
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060721/msgs/669920.html