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Re: had enough of being social--llrrrpp

Posted by over 55 on July 12, 2006, at 13:08:58

In reply to Re: had enough of being social--llrrrpp, posted by Phillipa on July 11, 2006, at 12:23:29

> So that's what my kids feel like when they're around me? Love Phillipa

Light bulb moment...that's exactly what I was thinking. My grown daughter has chosen to not have a relationship with me and I wonder why? I was depressed most of her growing up days, but managed to put on a pretty good show as far as providing physically for my kids. Emoltionally? Not so good. terrible rages that left disaster in the wake and praying they would not remember did not work. They remember; and my daughter the most.

The last time we talked (2 years ago) she said it takes her 3-4 days to "recover" from being around me and that she turns into a 12 year old again when we are together. I tend to focus on the "pain" I feel of not being part of her life and the three grandchildren. But today I am reminded of the pain I have caused and the pain she feels from being around me. She probably, correctly, has gotten the toxic mom out of her life. I needed this reminder.



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