Posted by Tamar on June 19, 2006, at 16:21:16
In reply to Anyone else not opening their mail?, posted by Fi on June 19, 2006, at 16:03:42
> I dont know why. It started when I gave myself 'permission' not to open it while I had a short episode of depression, and havent got going since.
I haven’t opened my mail in months. Fortunately my husband opens most of it. Every now and then he stops opening the mail, and things get very bad.
> I've set up various direct debits, so some bills get paid automatically. But not all of them. My house insurance ran out for a couple of weeks (until someone from the insurance company rang me).
My husband forgot to tell one of the finance companies when we moved house, and then he accidentally stopped paying them. We didn’t realise for two years. It was a savings thingy, so they’re not after us. But we lost about $10,000.
> What I am trying to do- which I would recommend to anyone else- is to at least open the letters. Even if you cant face reading the letter properly, it gives you the chance to spot anything you must act on.
If you go to the citizens’ advice bureau they will sit and open the letters with you. If you have to do it every month they will still help you. And they’ll help you make a payment plan if necessary.
> But even tho I know this, I have loads of difficulty in doing it. It was complete chance that I actually opened the letter with the summons. Thank goodness I did- I can hopefully avoid the court action by paying up in time.
You should be OK. No one likes having to take people to court: it’s expensive and time-consuming. So if you move fast I’m sure you’ll be OK.
> Its really scarey and it feels really pathetic not to do something so straightforward, particularly as I'm not particularly down at the moment.
I often don’t open the mail even when I’m not depressed. It’s just one of those little things in life that I hate doing. I also hate brushing my teeth, but fortunately I have a personal taboo against leaving the house without brushing my teeth.
I guess the important thing is to recognise when there’s a problem and find ways of solving it that you can live with. Forcing yourself to open the mail might not be the best thing for you. Inviting a trusted friend over for some tea/wine/cake and mail-opening might be a good plan, or going to the citizens’ advice bureau at the beginning of the month…. Or whatever it takes to make you feel safe.
poster:Tamar
thread:658778
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060618/msgs/658789.html