Posted by zenhussy on December 24, 2005, at 12:59:28
In reply to Medhead's Christmas, posted by Phil on December 24, 2003, at 20:27:17
a classic Phil post if ever there was...... =^)
************************************************>'Twas the night before Christmas; I sprang from my bed,
>Hideous visions aflame in my head.
>Was I dead? Overfed? Wherefore this dread?
>Then it hit me like lead: I'd not taken my meds!>Away to the window I flew like a flash
>Ere recalling that I of course kept my stash
>Near my bed in a tray divided by days.
>I pried Wednesday open, then felt myself sway -->It was empty! Ye gods! I hadn't refilled!
>Would the panic of Christmases Past now rebuild?
>The sobbing at Saks, the crying at carols?
>The ill-chosen gifts? The parties? The peril?
>The scorching of chestnuts, the gulping of nog?
>The tantrum that comes from a wet Presto log?
>The messy obsessing with all things morose?>Could I do that again? No, no! I'd be toast.
>Quick! Call the druggist! (I said to myself),
>And I did, but instead of the pharmacy elf,
>I heard a man say in a proud, twangy voice:>"Our nation's depressed have new cause to rejoice!
>I've expanded our war! (the one against drugs)
>To wipe out all evil, including the thugs
>Peddlin' them psychopharmaceuticals!>The Depressed can use faith! Like I do! It's beautiful!"
>Then there was silence. I thought: It's a hoax.
>A crop circle con job; the worst of all jokes.
>With trazodone gone, I'd do no more sleeping;>Sans Paxil I'd go back to whining and weeping,
>Not to mention seeing the Man in the Hall:
>("Your negative animus!" had been my shrink's call.
>"Animus schnanimus!" had been my response.
>"I just want him gone!" "Drive him out with your thoughts,"
>He'd suggested. "Be strong. Quit your groanin'."
>And I did once my brain had been fed serotonin!)
>But now all these lifesaving drugs had been banned
>So the free and the brave could reclaim the land?
>But the brave, I'd found out, didn't have special talents;
>Their brains were just blessed with chemical balance!
>In withdrawal already, I thought I could see
>My pre-med affliction flying toward me --
>'Twas my negative animus driving a sleigh;
>Eight twinkling iguanas pulled it this way!
>"I'm not home!" I screamed out, but closer they came
>Till I swear I could hear him call them by name:>"Now, Prozac! now, Xanax! now, Paxil, now Zoloft!
>Onward, Wellbutrin! On, Vodka and Rudolph!"
>Who was my bad animus? St. Nick? A pusher?
>Part of a trap set up by some Busher?
>Mister Rush Limbaugh? Mister Bill Bennett?
>The ghost of Strom Thurmond returned to the Senate?
>Unable to bear it, I jumped back in bed,
>Dived under the covers and feigned being dead
>Till this darkness had passed and on came the dawn.>My animus and his iguanas were gone,
>And my Wednesday meds were still in their slot.
>('Twas Tuesday I'd checked, while my judgment was shot.)>I swallowed them quickly and tried to put right
>The lingering fright from my harrowing night:
>Such a nightmare I'd had! It was worthy of Freud!>And poor Kafka too: It was that paranoid!
>A Jungian rerun! So very regressive
>To dream Bush would steal the rights of depressives!>Had he not, after all, used drugs himself?
>(Albeit none that had come from a pharmacy shelf?)
>Still, the man had compassion; ditto the season!
>(I kept telling myself, searching for reason.)>But try as I might I could not feel secure
>Till I phoned up my druggist and made really sure
>That I'd dreamed it all up, and had I? You bet.
>Nothing that crazy could happen. (Not yet.)
>Jean Gonick
poster:zenhussy
thread:591896
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051215/msgs/591896.html