Posted by Maynerd on October 25, 2005, at 14:51:20
In reply to Re: thoughts, posted by holymama on October 25, 2005, at 8:52:09
Yes, both my T and p-doc know about my insurance situation. As to my relationship with my T, I am able to trust one, but for some reason the trust thing is not as easy with the other. Since they both work for the school they are free for me to utilize however, so I do with what is there for me. It is hard for me to share some of the more extreme thoughts and mental experiences with him; I am able to voice the depressed thoughts but I still am unsure how to share the manic experiences. I finally told him about travelling with spirits and communing with god, and how hard it was for me to give up that part of myself.
I know that I am my own worst enemy with this, I foolishly stopped talking my meds for a while because I missed the emotional intensity of the highs. It is really hard for me, I lived for 35+ years in that storm and feel really strange when they are not there all the time. Funny how I only remember the good times until I am in the middle of the bad. I've been back on for about a week so hopefully the balance will return soon.
I envy your strength with giving up pot and alcohol, it has really been a tough battle for me. The intelligent me recognizes that smoking affects my thoughts in ways that aren't always best for me, but the other part of me stills tries to run the show. I have been trying to excersise every day, a bp friend and I go walk in the woods at least 3 times a week which has been quite helpful. Not just the walking, also the blessing of having someone to share my twisting thoughts with to find out what is real and what is...
poster:Maynerd
thread:571559
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051021/msgs/571758.html