Posted by holymama on October 14, 2005, at 14:11:45
In reply to Re: suicide is something most of us fight off**TRIGGER » holymama, posted by Deneb on October 14, 2005, at 13:03:10
> Suicidal feelings are something I BATTLE, not embrace.
I battle them too. :-(
I often write that I don't want to kill myself, but sometimes I change my mind. I don't understand why people think I'm making light of suicide. I really suffer. I suffer so much at times that I do think suicide is the way out. Maybe I just don't know how to express my suffering.
Deneb, I know you battle those feelings. That's why you write so much about it. I think you are in a constant battle between liking the idea and wanting to be saved from it. I think you have a lot of confusion about it.I guess the reason why I said you were taking suicide lightly is because you seem to be asking what the big deal is about it. You often ask why it bothers people, and when you ask that question, it makes me think that you don't understand the depth of emotion if brings up in people.
By the way, I don't think you are too draining on this community. I think you are one of the most interesting people here. I feel like you post your real feelings here and I think that's a great asset that you have. If you bottled things up, you might not feel like 'such a drain', but you wouldn't get any help from people either.
Sometimes I think you take peoples' comments too harshly. By the end of your posts you are often apologizing to people. I think that when people write to you, whether they are gentle or harsh, they are trying in their different ways to help you. Some might try by calming you down and making you feel good, others might try the tough love approach to get through to you. I think everyone here is really trying to reach you one way or another. Sometimes things we don't want to hear are what we need to hear in order to heal.
~Autumn~
poster:holymama
thread:566599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051007/msgs/566856.html