Posted by Tamar on September 27, 2005, at 20:01:42
In reply to Re: Lack of coping mechanisms *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 27, 2005, at 18:33:49
Hi Deneb,
> People, I'm really sorry about posting such desperate things last night. I just get really really stupid sometimes. Little things become life or death situations. It's horrible.
It sounds really difficult to cope with. I’m sorry things are so hard for you.
> I don't think I'm one of those people to be depressed for a long time and then do myself in. I think of one of those people who do something stupid to solve a problem, but it goes too far and I die accidentally. :-(
>
> I really thought about ODing again last night. I was freaked out about my midterms, maybe I will freak out some more.Freaking out about midterms is never fun. I think you’re right: you do need to find some coping mechanisms. Are you still trying to find some therapy? That might help.
> How do I stop this insanity?!! I seriously could not see any options other than ODing and faking illness again! What the heck is wrong with me! I didn't learn my lesson the first time. I just need to study...that is all. I still have time to study.Yes, you do still have time to study. It’ll be OK.
> I think I messed up my life. What the heck am I going to do once I get my degree? Ahhhh! I'm having a quarter-life crisis!Hey, I had no idea what I was going to do until three years *after* I finished studying. I don’t think you’ve messed up your life. You know, your time as a student is supposed to be fun. There’s no need to worry at this stage about what comes after (yeah, I know I’m old-fashioned).
> There's probably nothing wrong with me at all...that is why I keep thinking this pdoc wants to harm me, cuz he can't tell the difference between real psychosis and fake psychosis. What if mine are fake? What if it is fake and this guy gives me powerful anti-psychotics...this means he harms me!
Well, didn’t you say he has 24 years’ experience? I’m not saying p-docs are infallible but generally speaking I think that experience must count for something. And I admit I know very little about medication, but it sounds as if the dose he gave you was low enough that it shouldn’t harm you. Have you been taking it? It might be just the thing you need to get you through the midterms.
> Ahhh! I can't tell the difference anymore! Sometimes I think maybe I'm just faking things, but then sometimes I scare myself and I just don't know anymore! I just don't know! But I do know for a fact that I get really really upset. I don't know what to think anymore...please think for me.
Well, if I were going to think for you I’d probably say, “Don’t be too hard on yourself, try to keep the midterms in perspective, and give the medication a chance.” But I’m not qualified to think for you, so feel free to disregard anything I say!
I hope you’ll feel OK again soon. I know you often feel OK again within a little while. But do look after yourself.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:560096
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050922/msgs/560378.html