Posted by kid47 on September 7, 2005, at 16:46:31
I don't usually pass this kind of stuff along, but as a Dad who is raising a son, it really got a snort outa me. I think we could all use a good laugh!!
peace
kid
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, TX…“Things I’ve learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1. A KING SIZE WATER BED HOLDS ENOUGH WATER TO FILL A 2000 SQ. FT. HOUSE 4 “ DEEP
2. IF YOU SPRAY HAIR SPRAY ON DUST BUNNIES AND RUN OVER THEM WITH ROLLER BLADES, THEY CAN IGNITE
3. A 3-YR. OLD BOY’S VOICE IS LOUDER THAN 200 ADULTS IN A CROWDED RESTAURANT
4. IF YOU HOOK A DOG LEASH OVER A CEILING FAN, THE MOTOR IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO ROTATE A 42 LB BOY WEARING BATMAN UNDERWEAR AND A SUPERMAN CAPE. IT IS STRONG ENOUGH, HOWEVER, IF TIED TO PAINT CAN, TO SPREAD PAINT ON ALL FOUR WALLS OF A 20X20 FT. ROOM
5. YOU SHOULD NOT THROW BASEBALLS UP WHEN THE CEILING FAN IS ON. WHEN USING A CEILING FAN AS A BAT, YOU HAE TO THROW THE BALL UP A FEW TIMES BEFORE YOU GET A HIT. A CIELING FAN CAN HIT A BASEBALL A LONG WAY
6. THE GLASS IN WINDOWS (EVEN DOUBLE-PANE) DOESN’T STOP A BASEBALL HIT BY A CEILING FAN
7. WHEN YOU HEAR THE TOILET FLUSH AND THE WORDS “UH OH”, IT’S ALREADY TOO LATE!
8. BRAKE FLUID MIXED WITH CLOROX MAKES SMOKE, AND LOTS OF IT
9. 80% OF MEN WHO READ THIS WILL TRY MIXING THE CLOROX AND BRAKE FLUID
10. A SIX-YR. OLD BOY CAN START A FIRE WITH A FLINT ROCK EVEN THOUGH A 36-YR. OLD MAN SAYS THEY CAN ONLY DO IT IN THE MOVIES
11. CERTAIN LEGO’S WILL PASS THROUGH THE DIGESTIVE TRACT OF A 4-YR. OLD BOY
12. PLAY DOUGH AND MICROWAVE SHOULD NOT BE USED IN THE SAME SENTENCE
13. SUPER GLUE IS F-O-R-E-V-E-R
14. NO MATTER HOW MUCH JELL-O YOU PUT IN A SWIMMING POOL YOU STILL CAN’T WALK ON WATER
15. POOL FILTERS DO NOT LIKE JELL-O
16. VCR’S DO NOT EJECT “PB & J” SANDWICHES EVEN THOUGH TV COMMERCIALS SHOW THEY DO
17. GARBAGE BAGS DO NOT MAKE GOOD PARACHUTES
18. MARBLES IN GAS TANKS MAKE LOTS OF NOISE WHEN DRIVING
19. YOU PROBABLY DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT ODOR IS
20. ALWAYS LOOK IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU TURN IT ON; PLASTIC TOYS DO NOT LIKE OVENS
21. THE FIRE DEPARTMENT IN AUSTIN, TX. HAS A 5-MINUTE RESPONSE TIME
22. THE SPIN CYCLE ON THE WASHING MACHINE DOES NOT MAKE EARTHWORMS DIZZY
23. IT WILL, HOWEVER, MAKE CATS DIZZY
24. CATS THROW-UP TWICE THEIR BODY WIEGHT WHEN DIZZY
25. THOSE WHO PASS THIS ON TO ALMOST ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS, WITH OR WITHOUT BOYS DO IT BECAUSE:
a. For those with no children—this is totally hysterical!
b. For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious!
c. For those who have children this age, this is not funny!
d. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning
e. FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT YET HAD CHILDREN, THIS IS BIRTH CONTROL :o)
poster:kid47
thread:551974
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050903/msgs/551974.html