Posted by Dominique on August 24, 2005, at 21:11:21
In reply to Linkage, Are you feeling better?, posted by lynn970 on August 24, 2005, at 20:02:06
Whatever your feelings are, when you feel that you are at your deepest darkest corner; know that somewhere, somehow, a little light is able to shine through. Even though we don't feel this way at times or most of time (speaking from experience w/ depression & suicidal thoughts), there is a small pathway to guide us there. Whether it be a friend, collegue, family member, religious being; there is a light flickering and trying to shine for you. All it takes is for us (the depressed) to take a step forward, rather than back, and begin that trail. There were days when I thought that I would implode with grief, over what I don't know; feeling empty, unloved & uncherished for the being that I was; hating my every breath and movement. But, there was a lightswitch for my strobe, yet I couldn't find it myself. I felt as if I were rubbing my hands along those dark walls, in search of a light source; yet couldn't find it. Thankfully, I saw a new doctor who realized that my agonizing depression/mood was not hormonal; but actual depression (which I hadn't been "labeled"). Medication, I thought was never going to be the answer. I fought what friends and family was telling me, and felt that if it was depression, than I could handle it myself. But, that was far from the truth. I fought it for years, until finally, I was put on an anti-depressant. Within six weeks of taking the prescription, I felt that I could actually smile again and not fake it. I felt as though I could slowly crawl out of that ditch of depression I had somehow found myself in, and get out of bed every morning. A year has passed, and I know in my heart that I should have been on medicine a long time ago. It takes some very loving friends and family to stand by you through your darkest moments. And you don't realize it, until your no longer blinded by the darkness.
Smiles
poster:Dominique
thread:546274
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050819/msgs/546311.html